Ode to an Angel
spoilers: manga vol. 16
characters: Taikoubou, Fugen
chapters: 1/1
retrieved from: Bunnyhat
Disclaimer: I do not claim any ownership of the characters, or the story, of Houshin Engi. Fujisaki Ryu is the genius behind all of it…but if you did think I could be as creative as that, then I’m flattered… ^-^; Don’t sue me…I need all the money I can get to buy Houshin Engi stuff…reviews are nice and can help me along, but flames will always be used to warm up my tea…but they are not shunned.
Author’s Notes: PG for small shounen-ai hints. -.-; My first one-shot I can truly call a one-shot! That means it probably is horrible! ^^; I could have had a friend of mine edit it, but I decided that this one-shot fic is good enough…I think the birth of this fanfiction was when I decided I was going to do a fic about Fugen, not to mention the Juunisen’s, death. -.-; To be honest, I don’t think I give the angel enough credit. I dedicate this fanfic to a dear friend of mine who learned and experienced the beginnings of Houshin Engi with me. You know who you are…and, of course, the one who actually introduced me into Houshin Engi! Thanks a lot, Dentsu. Also, thanks for the info and insight to actually WORK on my stories, Mearl Dox!
‘Ode to an Angel’
The leader of the Houshin Project was occupying, at the time, a chamber of Konron Mountain. It was a dim-lit room, with only a single white taper on the edge of the table. With anyone else, it may have looked as if it was solely lit for some late night studying a mere doushi would be doing when he tipped off by some friend that his master had been planning a surprise quiz…
But this was not the case. In the room, which was hard to see, sat the infamous doushi, Taikoubou Shishou. He was scribbling quickly on a piece of parchment; a small pile lay next to him. It seemed that whatever this was, it had seemed important to him. The desk he was at was a nice, wooden oak, and an inkpot that seemed to be brand-new.
The quill pen that he used slowed down from it’s fast-pace writing, leaving a blotch of black ink on the already tainted parchment. He let the pen slip from his gloved-right hand. Tears formed in the shimmering emerald hues, and dripped down onto the page.
He had asked only an hour. An hour from the war raging between Kingou Island and Konron Mountain; from the pain of seeing others hurt. Already half of that hour was spent. Gloved hands went to jade eyes and covered them, hiding his tears. It was too hard…too hard to deal with the pain and grief of losing someone so close…so dear to him.
Fugen had been a wonderful friend to him. Even if he didn’t look it, the angel was powerful. He did have, of course, the paopei, Taikyoku Fuin. The angelic being that would no longer grace Taikoubou with his presence was a friend to everyone. That eternal smile on his face could brighten anyone’s day…no matter what had gone array.
The shoulders of this being shook; quietly tears slipped down his tanned face. A knock was at the door of the dimmed room, and Taikoubou glanced up, hurriedly wiping away his tears from his face. His voice cracked, but he tried to make up for it.
“Wh-who is it…?” He heard the voice of the tenzai doushi, filled with sadness. “…I’m worried for you, Susuu…” The genius disciple paused, outside the room; he turned to lean his back against the door. “…Are you well…?” Taikoubou glances to the side, reaching for another parchment, but hesitated.
…yeah. I’m fine, Youzen…”
That voice didn’t sound like he was okay. The former doushi of Gyokutei Shinjin raised a hand to his lips, gently tracing his lower lip as he thought of Susuu. “…Please continue, then.” The amethyst-eyed disciple then stepped away from the door, still worried about his friend.
Gazing down to the paper, a yellow-gloved hand rose to his face again, and slowly swiped away some of the chocolate-brown locks of hair that got in the way of his emerald-hues. Could he finish this while still giving proper dedication to the angel who passed?
Finally, a proper prose came to mind. Smoothing a scroll out in front of him, the emerald eyes scanned the paper as his words formed what he really wanted to say. Now, as he thought about it, the doushi began to write out his feelings.
‘To complete something, sacrifice is necessary. The more important the thing is, the probability of sacrifice will increase with it. But, we definitely didn’t give up on ourselves, because this is our own decision, so we don’t need any pity or sympathy. As long as you feel sad for us, that is enough…’ You spoke those words to me before you left, and I understood those words, Fugen. I don’t want to believe that those are you’re last, but they are. And I’ll keep to them…
I try not to, but my feelings have been getting in the way of the Houshin Project, and I’m afraid it may be my downfall. I’ve felt like I’ve been lost. I don’t know how I’m going to finish this damned project…but I know I have to try. You were always there for support, but now…it’s hard with you gone…
Fugen. You’re the only one who knew me. Even more than I know myself. You were the one who was strong, but I was the one you choose to express yourself with. I was the one in the light. You hid, in the dark, and smiled, knowing all the while what you were doing. It must have been cold…hiding behind me all the time…
You should have been the one who got the sunlight. The only one with the strength to go on. Because that’s the only reason I went on…could go on; because you we’re there to support me. And I know that if you were here, you’d be telling me to just ‘stop acting silly’ and just be myself. But you should have leaded the Houshin Project. If so, there would have been a way to keep all these deaths from coming.
I broke a promise I made. I made it, and kept it, to myself…when we were younger, and I begged you to sneak off of Konron Mountain…we we’re fishing, and you taught me the meaning of your straight-hook philosophy. Remember those times? I came to the conclusion that: ‘you should not die…you cannot die…’ It was the one promise I wished to keep for you. I wanted to protect you, and keep you from harm. And I wasn’t able to…so, I’ve failed you once again, Fugen.
Of course, I’ve cried. I’ve taken my time to think things through, Fugen. And how much of an idiot I’ve been. Even after the disaster…Bunchuu still lived. Now that you’re gone, I know that if I would have left you behind…or if I insisted you stay at Konron as you’re friends and fellow Juunisen went to battle, you’d fight it off…but you may have been alive then…
I knew you’d sacrifice yourself. Just thinking about your personality and the Juunisen’s standpoint; I knew you believed that if a sacrifice had to be made, then it would be yourself. The Juunisen and yourself had every intention of dieing with honour than not doing anything about it.
If I suddenly left, Bukichi wouldn’t know what to do, and I know that he’s strong enough to go on…his mother saw to that. But…you left Mokutaku behind. I think he’s shattered. If you know how much he looked up to you. It’s kind of the same with me. Kintaku has been doing all he can to take care of him, but I know he misses you. You raised that child up well, Fugen. He tries not to cry, but when he does, he isn’t hiding from all the others. Mokutaku’s a good kid.
I can’t promise you that I won’t cry again. And I will think about you. I can’t forget you, and I refuse to. Because…because of how much…I truly love you. It’s taken me a long while to…come to terms with myself that I love you. But now that you’re gone, I cannot express it to you how I’ve wanted to for so long. I don’t…I don’t know if you…felt the same way toward me…but I want to state it here. It’s between us. I’ll be thinking about you everyday, Fugen, and I’ll miss you…goodbye.
-Bou-chan-
Finally content with what he had written, the immortal leaned back in his chair to gaze at what he had finished. The quill pen was dropped into the half-empty inkpot as he reached for the scroll and began to roll it up. Fastening it with a sky blue ribbon, the doushi stood from his chair, and headed toward the door.
~*~*~
A small smile flitted across the face of the immortal, Taikoubou. The young sennin stood in the ningenkai, gazing down at the crystal blue waters. He kicked a small pebble off the edge of the cliff that him and Fugen used to ‘fish’ at. How long had it been since he went here…?
The doushi hopped down onto a small bank that lead into the water, and plopped down onto the ground under him and looked into the waters, wondering slightly. “…Are you watching me now, Fugen?” The smile on his face broadened. “…Of course you are. You’ll watch over me, won’t you?” He glanced down to the scroll he held closed in his left, paopei hand.
“I know how much you used to love presents…I brought this for you…” The scroll was showed to the sky as Taikoubou kept himself from starting to cry from the loss. “I think this might have to be my last one, though…” He held it tightly for a moment, dreamily looking into the water…
“…I know you’re gone, but I won’t forget you…” The chocolate-haired doushi blinked away tears quickly, bringing the scroll into the water and releasing it. “…We’ve got a lot of memories here, don’t we, Fugen?” The light paper began to slowly float down the stream as Taikoubou watched it.
“No matter what anyone says…you have been the gentlest soul I have ever been lucky to come across…I’ll stay the way I am, and always think about you…farewell, Fugen…”