The Pizza Show Experiment 2!

spoilers: TPSE part 1
characters: Most Anime cast, Xelloss from Slayers Next, Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
chapters: 7/7
retrieved from: Bunnyhat

Chapter One

The Pizza Show Experiment! Part 2

(Sage, Yami Sage, Rowan, Damien, and a short, perky, green-haired girl, all in lab coats, are standing in the infamous White Room™ - infamous, that is, to those who were here for Part 1 of the Pizza Show Experiment.)

Sage: HIIIIIIIIIII! We’re BAAAAAACK!

Rowan: Previously on The Pizza Show Experiment…

Perky Green-Haired Girl: Dun dun duun!

Damien: …stuff happened.

Yami Sage: That it did!

Rowan: We - Sage, Yami Sage, and I, with Damien joining in later - performed experiments on the cast of Hoshin Engi - perhaps better known as Soul Hunter.

Sage: And now, faithful readers, we have returned! And we’ve got two new hosts! Damien is now joining us officially, and we also have….Jordi!

Perky Green-Haired Girl (hereafter Jordi): Hellooo, everyone! *waves cheerfully*

Rowan: *whispering* And yes, her hair is dyed.

Jordi: I heard that!

Rowan: *blink* So?

Sage: It’s true!

Jordi: Yup. Just telling you that I heard that.

Sage: Now that that’s over with, shall we bring on our lucky lab rats?

Rowan: *grin* Let’s…

*snap*

(Enter Nataku, Kou Tenka, Kou Hiko, Yin Xiao, Yin Hong (younger versions still), Taikoubou, Raishinshi, Youzen, Shinkouhyou, Fugen, Dakki, Kibi, Kijin, Bunchu, Hakuyuko, Hatsu, and Tai-itsu Shinjin. And a partridge in a pear tree.)

Rowan: *blinks* Where'd that come from? *snaps partridge away*

SH Cast: *look around*

Sage: *points at Fugen and squeaks* It’s the little one!

Hong: SAGE! *runs over and hugs her*

Raishinshi: *sits up* Ow! I landed on my head!

Nataku: Shut up and get off me.

Raishinshi: Eep! *immediately gets off of Nataku*

Sage: *grins evilly*

Raishinshi: Don’t you start!

Rowan: *innocently* Start what?

Raishinshi: *mutters something under his breath*

Everyone who wasn’t here before (i.e, Fugen, Hakuyuko, Hatsu and Tai-Itsu): ???

Taikoubou: *looks around* Oi! Suupuu! Doko na no?

Sage: Sowwy, Taiky-chan, but we needed to make room for our new guests.

Hatsu: Why is Raishinshi here? I thought he was off being Robin Hood again.

Sage: Because what’s The Pizza Show Experiment without some Natarai fluffage?

Hatsu: …Huh?

Rowan: Never mind. Sage, we’d better explain to the newcomers what we’re doing.

Sage: Right. *pulls out a megaphone* ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE IN A SINGLE-FILE LINE RIGHT ALONG HERE! LET’S MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!!!

Rowan: *takes hands off ears* Ow.

SH Cast: *is in a line in two seconds flat*

Sage: Thank you. Now, those who were here before - you know who you are - go out the door and wait in the dining room. And no killing each other! You know the rules!

Newbies: *more confused than ever*

(Everyone except The Newbies exit)

Sage: Let’s introduce ourselves. I am Sage Saria.

Yami Sage: Just call me Master.

Sage: *whap* -_- She’s Yami Sage.

Damien: I’m Damien.

Jordi: I’m Jordi.

Rowan: *looking dreamily at Fugen*

Fugen: *smiles angelically*

Rowan: *o*

Sage: Rowan?

Rowan: *looks up* Oh, right. I’m Rowan. *goes back to looking at Fugen*

Sage: *sighs* Anyway, we will be performing experiments on you and everyone else. It’s very simple, very painless…well…mostly painless…We will be performing five experiments, one a day. On Saturday you get to go home.

Damien: Rule One: No decapitating, killing, whacking, or otherwise maiming anyone.

Yami Sage: Rule Two: If you’re called for an experiment, you do it. Or else.

Jordi: Rule Three: No maltreating or disrespecting the hostesses. Bad things happen to people who disrespect the hostesses. *scary smile*

Damien: And hosts!

Yami Sage: Especially Yami Sage. *scarier smile*

Sage: >_> Who is talking about herself in the third person.

Jordi: *pouts*

Rowan: Rule Four: All Paopei are for medical, defensive, or experimental purposes only. Paopei have been confiscated for misuse. I don’t think that this will be a problem with this group, however…*eyes Hakuyuko, Hatsu, and Fugen*

Sage: There are a few things you should know about this place. This is the White Room. We perform experiments here. If you are called on, you are to report here.

Rowan: Outside this door is the dining room. Raishinshi cooks the meals, so if you need anything to eat, just ask him.

Hatsu: *blink blink*

Jordi: Upstairs are the dorms. You sleep in them. You will be shown to your dorms later.

Fugen: *nods*

Sage: Okay…I think that’s it. *looks at Rowan*

Rowan: One more thing: Nataku and Raishinshi secretly like each other, but they won’t admit it. *giggle*

Tai-Itsu and Hatsu: *raise eyebrow and snicker*

Sage: And don’t mention the word "Oreo" in Kou Hiko’s presence. Only we’re allowed to do that.

All: ??

Damien: Okay! Everyone, into the dining room!

(Everyone goes into the dining room, where Raishinshi appears to be trying to choke Nataku with the infamous flowery pink apron. Taikoubou, Tenka, and Dakki are egging them on.)

Sage: *blows a police whistle really loud* Break it up! Break it up! *separates Nataku and Raishinshi*

What happened this time?

Taikoubou: *hands Tenka some money*

Tenka: *cackles quietly to himself*

Raishinshi: *red in the face* Tenka was being a jerk! And then Nataku joined in. *muttering* Cooking is NOT womanly, bet that little *mutter* would starve in the wild…

Rowan: *shocked, to Nataku* Nataku! You promised!

Nataku: I didn’t provoke him. I just agreed with Kou Tenka.

Rowan: *narrows eyes* That was still provoking.

Yami Sage: Stupid. You should have let Tenka provoke him, then joined in.

Nataku: *looks expressionlessly at Yami Sage*

Rowan: *glances at the walls* At least you didn’t use your Paopei.

Raishinshi: *to get Nataku in trouble* He did use them! He fired at me and I dodged them.

Hong: No he didn’t!

Raishinshi: *sweatdrop* Stupid kid…

Sage: Enough! Nataku, Raishinshi, behave yourselves! Unless you want this little baby to get on the web! *holds up a photograph*

Hong: Ooh! What’s that? *tries to look at it*

Raishinshi: *blocks Hong from seeing it* *nervously* That’s okay, Sage…you don’t need to go that far…

Hong: *whining* I wanna see it! *tries to go under Raishinshi’s Paopei wings*

Raishinshi: *grabs Hong* Don’t you dare!

Hong: Let me see!

Raishinshi: No!

(The Newbies, among all the fuss, sneak by Raishinshi and glance at the photograph)

Fugen: *giggle*

Hakuyuko: No way…..

Hatsu: *snigger*

Tai-Itsu: *laughs out loud*

(The picture is of Raishinshi lying on top of Nataku. Both of them are looking at the camera, shocked. Raishinshi is turning rather red, Nataku just has a small hint of blush on his cheeks)

Raishinshi: *buries his face in his apron and lets out a small whimper*

Nataku: *is silent*

Rowan: *giggle* Neepers!

Hatsu: *trying not to laugh* When did you get that picture?

Sage: *smirks* Oh, they were just playing a game…and then suddenly Raishinshi jumped on Nataku, yelling!

*soft snickers are heard*

Hatsu: *elbows Raishinshi* Well, he is cute, I guess…ne, toutou-chan?

Raishinshi: *flaming red* Can we go up to the dorms now?

Hatsu: *snickering* Can’t wait?

Raishinshi: *enraged* Nii-san! *tackles him*

Sage: *claps hands loudly* AHEM!!

Raishinshi: *gets up, looking innocent*

Sage: Ok, everyone’s in the same dorms as they were last time. Fugen, you’re with me.

Rowan: Hatsu, Hakuyuko, you’re in my dorm.

Yami Sage: Tai-Itsu, let’s go!

(Everyone goes upstairs. Bunks are found and occupied with little hassle (but several snickers) and everyone is soon ready to go to sleep.)

Sage: I’ll turn the lights out in just a sec! *grabs an extra pillow and goes over to Youzen’s bunk. Youzen is already asleep and snoring loudly. Sage lightly puts the pillow over Youzen’s face, drowning out his snoring* *goes back to her bunk, snaps the lights off and goes to sleep*

***(Rowan’s Dorm)***

(The lights are already off, but Hatsu and Raishinshi are still awake)

Hatsu: He’s right over your head, Toutou-chan! Just a few feet away!

Raishinshi: SHUT UP!

Nataku: Both of you shut up. I’m trying to sleep.

Rowan: *mumbling* Yeah! So shut up, Mr. Normal-pants! *rolls around* Hai-yah! Hai-yah!

All: o_O *go to sleep*

***(Yami Sage’s Dorm)***

Yami Sage: *irritated, to Bunchu* Don’t you try anything this time, ya hear?

Bunchu: *has no clue what he did to Yami Sage*

Tai-Itsu: o_O

(Everyone’s asleep. End of introduction.)

Blast to the past:

The promise: Rowan tried to make Nataku and Raishinshi promise never to fight again. Through some blackmail, Raishinshi promised not to start fights with Nataku, and Nataku promised not to deliberately provoke Raishinshi.

The picture: During a game of DDR, Raishinshi got mad at Nataku and tackled him. Since we’re all Nataku/Raishinshi (or, as Rowan and I like to call it, Natarai fluff) fans here, it was a perfect photo opportunity. It’s now used for blackmail.

Oreos: Kou Hiko was on a sugar rush (long, long story) and was talking to Oreos about his wife and sister’s deaths. When he woke up from it, he didn’t remember what had happened, and he had crushed Oreos all over him. o_O He hallucinated Oreos the rest of the week. And smelled like them, too.

The pillow: Youzen snores. Really loud. We have to put a pillow over his face in order to sleep at night. He still hasn’t figured out why he has trouble breathing at night. And he’s supposed to be a Genius Disciple!

Yami Sage and Bunchu: We tested love potions on the SH cast. Bunchu fell in love with Yami Sage. He kissed her. He talked of love to her. He did things I don’t want to think about to her. She’s still traumatized.

The apron: When we discovered Raishinshi’s skill at cooking, all he could find to wear over his cloths was a flowery pink apron. Nataku has been teasing him about it ever since.

Neepers!: This…is a random word. It is only a random word. Were it an inside joke or part of the Blast to the Past, it would not be here. It is only a random word.

Inside joke:

When I first saw Fugen, I didn’t know his name, but he was so little-kid-adorable that I wanted to hug him and squeeze him and call him Bob. Then I had to take a shower. The whole time I was taking my shower I was thinking about Fugen, referring to him as "the little one," ‘cause, like I said, I didn’t know his name. I still call him "the little one" now ^_^ I think it kinda works. I have no clue how old the other 11 Senen are, but I’m guessing that Fugen’s at least second youngest. And he is kinda physically small too. I mean have you seen that shirt he always wears? It looks like it’s gonna fall off any second! And he looks really delicate. Shutting up now.

Japanese:

Doko na no?: Where are you?

Toutou-chan: Little bro