The Pizza Show Experiment 2!

spoilers: TPSE part 1
characters: Most Anime cast, Xelloss from Slayers Next, Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
chapters: 7/7
retrieved from: Bunnyhat

Chapter Two

The Pizza Show Experiment! Part 2

Experiment #1

Monday morning

(The SH Cast is in the dining room, munching on Raishinshi’s marvelous cooking, much to Hatsu’s amusement. Sage and Rowan, as usual, are nowhere to be seen.)

Fugen: *quietly* Um…excuse me, Miss Yami Sage, ma’am.

Yami Sage: It’s Yami Sage, or Master, whichever you prefer. What’s up?

Fugen: Anou…..are Miss Sage and Miss Rowan going to be here soon?

Yami Sage: *munching on bacon* They’ll be here soon enough, kid, don’t worry. Want some bacon?

Fugen: No thank you, Miss Yami Sage. I’m not allowed to eat meat.

Taikoubou: *from across the table* Stupid.

Yami Sage: *munching on more bacon* Stupid yourself.

Tenka: You’re going to get sick again, you know.

Yami Sage: *munch munch munch*

Shinkouhyou: *to Jordi* I’ve never seen you before. Are you new?

Jordi: Hi! I’m Jordi! I’m a new hostess! I like to talk all perky like this!

Shinkouhyou: Interesting. Nice to meet you.

Damien: *also munching on bacon, but not as much as Yami Sage, ‘cause he’s smart* Hands off, clown boy. She’s taken.

Shinkouhyou: I beg your pardon?

Damien: Nope, not giving you any pardon at all.

Jordi: *drolly* Taken. As in spoken for.

Hong: As in you’re married? Like Becky?

Damien: *chokes on bacon*

Jordi: ^^ You’re so cute! But no, Hong, I’m not married.

Hong: Are you going to be?

Damien: *munching on bacon*

Jordi: *sweatdrop* No, Hong, not anytime soon.

Hong: Oh.

(Sage and Rowan emerge)

Sage: Man, I’m starvin’! *sits down next to Fugen* Good morning, Little One! How are you?

Fugen: *beaming* I’m fine, and my name is Fugen.

Sage: I know, but I like to call you Little One! You don’t mind, do you?

Rowan: *glutting herself on popovers* Try these, Fugen! These are really good!

Fugen: Yes, they are. Raishinshi is a good cook.

Raishinshi: *from the kitchen* You better believe it!

Hatsu: *snicker* I can’t believe I never knew this about Raishinshi…

Tai-Itsu: You know, a picture doesn’t prove everything. Photographs can be digitally altered to make them seem a certain way.

Youzen: True.

Hatsu: I meant the cooking. This is incredible! *eats a rice ball*

Tai-Itsu: *sweatdrop* Oh. I knew that.

Fugen: *giggle* You’re so silly, Tai-Itsu!

Tai-Itsu: *rolls eyes* Whatever, kid. *butters some toast*

Sage: Now now, Tai-Itsu, be nice!

Tai-Itsu: *confused* I’m not?

Sage: Don’t "whatever kid" the little one! You’ll hurt his feelings!

Fugen: I don’t really mind, Sage-san. I was only teasing him.

Sage: *pats Fugen on the head* It’s ok, Little One. You can go right ahead and let him know how you feel.

Fugen: ……

Sage: So! I think you guys will like today’s experiment.

Tenka: *done eating* Oh?

Sage: *whips out experiment schedule* *reads* Monday: Experiment #1:What is "Fun" For Bunchu?

Hiko: *chokes* E-excuse me?

Bunchu: *glower*

Rowan: *cheerfully* Yup!

Bunchu: I’m the Lord Chancellor of the Yin! I don’t have time for fun!

Jordi: You’re not Lord Chancellor anymore!

Sage: *covers Jordi’s mouth* Hehehe, just ignore her. *whispers in Jordi’s ear* This is disk 3 Bunchu! The Yin hasn’t been destroyed yet!

Jordi: *whispering loudly back* If it’s disc 3, then why’s Fugen here?

Sage: Because I said so!

Jordi: Humph. Neepers.

Rowan: Hey! That’s my word!

Fugen: *looks up curiously* Did somebody mention my name?

Sage: *sweatdrop* Haha, ha, not at all! No!

Fugen: Oh. Ok. *goes back to eating his rice ball*

Nataku and Raishinshi: *thumb wrestling in the corner*

Rowan: *sweatdrop* What are you two doing?

Raishinshi: *ignoring her* Haha! I’m winning,. I’m winning! One- two- three-

Rowan: -_- What are you doing?

Nataku: What does it look like we’re doing? *frees his thumb from Raishinshi’s and pins Raishinshi’s thumb* One- two- three- four- five- six- seven- eight- nine- ten. I win.

Raishinshi: Oh, not again! Two out of three?

Rowan: *sweatdrop*

Sage: Go Nataku! Go Nataku! You da bomb! Uh-huh!

Rowan: Don’t give up Raishinshi! You can still beat him!

Raishinshi: *pins Nataku’s thumb* Haha! One- two- three- four- five- six- s-seven-

Rowan: *chanting with him* eight- nine-

Raishinshi: TEN! I win! Hahaha!

Nataku: *folds his arms* I won. You said two out of three.

Raishinshi: *facefaults*

Sage: *stands up* It’s time, Bunchu! Let’s go!

Raishinshi: *pointy bat ears perk up* *scrambles away* I gotta see this!

Nataku: *floats after him to the White Room*

Hiko: Save me a seat!

Fugen: Wait for me!

(One by one, everyone gets a spot by the window into…THE WHITE ROOM. (dun dun dun!))

Bunchu: I refuse to do this!

Sage: Are you sure? *holds up a photograph of Taikoubou, Shinkouhyou, Youzen and Hakuyuko as Chibis from the original Pizza Show *trumpet fanfare** This is a picture of one of our punishments for naughty boys!

Bunchu: *glare glare glower glower* I despise you.

Sage and Rowan: Thank you! ^_^

Yami Sage: Thank Ra…

Sage: So! Let’s start with what we know. We know that you don’t like sugar or Dance Dance Revolution.

Fugen: Doesn’t like Dance Dance Revolution? Is that possible?

Taikoubou: *muttering* Apparently.

Bunchu: Muttermuttermuttertraditionmuttermutter

Sage: Again with the tradition rants!

Rowan: Maybe he’d like Fiddler on the Roof.

Damien: No, Fiddler on the Roof is about tradition falling apart.

Sage: *suddenly stands on top of the couch, posing dramatically* *singing* TRADITIOOOOOOOON! TRADITION!

Yami Sage: -_-‘ oh boy.

Cast: ???

Tenka: Well, this is new.

Yami Sage: You shouldn’t have mentioned Fiddler, Rowan.

Cast: ???????????

Rowan: *looks at the cast* Sage likes to brag that her life is a musical. If you mention something that sounds like a music cue, chances are she will start to sing it. We mentioned the words "tradition" and "Fiddler on the Roof" together, so now she’s thinking about the musical Fiddler on the Roof, namely the song Tradition.

Sage: *prances around to a waltz rhythm* *singing* Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match….find me a find…catch me a catch….

Damien: Actually….I think she’s gonna sing the whole damn musical.

Sage: *bonks Damien* Rating! *keeps singing* For Papa, make him a scholar; for Mama, make him rich as a king…

Yami Sage: Guess she’s not gonna be involved in the experiment.

Everyone: *collective sweatdrop*

Rowan: So....what else could we try? *hmmm* What's fun for us?

Yami Sage: Torturing people?

Rowan: *sweatdrop* Why don't we try that last...um...I know!

Sage: *prances by* If I were a rich man.....eidle diedle diedle deedle diedle diedle diedle dum......

Yami Sage: >_> Baka Aibou...

Rowan: We'll try music first! ^__^ *snap*

Stage and various Music Equipment: *appears*

Sage: *twirls onstage* L'chaim! L'chaim! To life! Here’s to the father I tried to be, here’s to my bride to be…drink L’chaim to liiiiiife…..

Music Equipment: *provides music support*

Rowan, Jordi and Damien: *start doing the Russian dance*

Everyone: *...is scared*

Fugen: *focusing somewhat on Sage*

Bunchu: *blank glower*

Song: *ends*

Rowan: *sigh* Well, that obviously didn't work...*snap*

Music Equipment: Baibai now! ^_~ *disappears*

Sage: How can I hope to make you understand.....why I do....what I do?........Why I must travel to a distant land.......far from the home I love......

Yami Sage: >_<; *ties Sage up and shoves her in the corner*

Sage: *keeps singing*

Rowan: Sooooo.....what else can we try?

Jordi: Makeup! ^___^ *whips out ginormous makeup kit*

Bunchu: o_O *is scared*

Sage: Wonder of wonders...miracle of miracles....God took up Daniel once again......

Jordi: Now...shall you be Goth or shall you be prettiful? *evil grin* *ties Bunchu to a chair and goes into anime-dust-cloud around him*

Fugen: *trying not to crack up*

Dust Cloud: *settles, smirking*

Bunchu: *dazed*

Rowan: *holds up mirror*

Bunchu: ...O_O *screams*

Fugen: *bursts into a hysterical fit of giggles*

Raishinshi: *leaning against the glass, laughing hysterically*

Jordi: ^___^

*Bunchu ish pwettiful. Bunchu-chan wa totemo kirei desu. Bunchu has blue-ish eyeliner and bright red lipstick. Bunchu's cheeks are powder-white. Bunchu is not happy.*

Rowan: ^_^ Neepers!

Bunchu: *evil glare of DOOMINESS*

*screen goes fuzzy*

Rowan-Voice-Over: Sumimasen, technical difficulties ga arimasu. Chotto o-machi shimasu kudasai. ^_^

Sage-Voice-Over: May the Lord protect and defend you.....may He always shield you from shame.......

Rowan-Voice-Over: Sumimasen, o-ignore shimasu kudasai. Hen na shoujo imasu ga, soon de shizuka ni shimasu deshou.

Sage-Voice-Over: HEY!!! *goes back to singing* Favor them, O Lord, and keep them from the stranger's ways.......

*screen goes unfuzzy*

Bunchu: X_X *is out cold on the floor*

Damien and Rowan: *dusts hands off*

Cast outside: *peek back into the room*

Hong: *scared* Is it over now?

Jordi: *calm, soothing voice* It's over, Hong. Everything's going to be okay.

Hong: ^_^ Okay. *hugs Jordi*

Yami Sage: Okay, so I guess that didn't work.

Rowan: But now Bunchu's all knocked out and stuff and we can't experiment on him!

Jordi: No biggie! *pokes Bunchu in the side with a stick*

Bunchu: *jumps up reflexively and gets into a karate stance*

Jordi: Sooo....what else can we try?

Damien: PLUSHIES!!! *pulls on a lever that randomly appeared* *tons of plushies rain down on Bunchu*

Bunchu: O_O *is buried*

Rowan: O_O *jumps in pile of plushies* I KNOW I SAW KAIBA IN HERE!!!

Sage: *huggling a Fugen plushie* Little bird....little Havale....I don't understand what's happening today........

Fugen: *eyes the plushie and blushes slightly*

Rowan: *bursts out of the plushies* LOOK WHAT I FOUND! ^____^ Natarai no ne! *waves plushies of Nataku and Raishinshi*

Nataku and Raishinshi: O_O *blush*

Jordi: *smiling dreamily, cuddling a Yuuki plushie from Fruit’s Basket* Yuuki... *_*

Yami Sage: *hiding in the corner with a Yami Yugi plushie* *evil grin*

Damien: DAKKI!!!!!! *squeezes the heck out of a Dakki plushie*

*pause*

Rowan: Well, this is all great, but what's happened to Bunchu?

Bunchu: *emerges out of the pile* WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE THINGS?!?!?

Rowan: Rating, Bunchu-chan! *makes Nataku and Raishinshi plushies hug/dance*

Jordi: *innocently* They're plushies! See, there's one of you! *waves one around*

Yami Sage: *recoils* Hey, watch where you point that thing!

Bunchu: *steam coming out of his ears*

Rowan: *puts a pot of water on his head to make tea*

Bunchu: >< *throws pot at Rowan*

Rowan: And now my Nibbles is dead! ^_^

*collective facefault*

Sage: *humming main theme of Fiddler on the Roof* La la da da da daaa.....la da da dee dee daaa........

Damien: ...So that didn't work either.

Jordi: Yeah, I would definitely mark that down as a failure.

Rowan: I wouldn't say so. I got Nataku plushie! ^__^ And Raishinshi! *makes plushies kiss*

Raishinshi: CHOTTO!!!

Rowan: *sticks tongue out and puts plushies into, ah, embarrassing positions*

Raishinshi: *beats head against glass*

Tai-Itsu: *is laughing quietly*

Nataku: *death glare*

Tai-Itsu: *laughs harder*

Nataku: *threatens with Ken Kon Ken*

Tai-Itsu: *makes "neener-neener" face*

Rowan: *snaps Ken Kon Ken away*

Nataku: *under breath* Damn.

Rowan: I heard that!

Yami Sage: a-HEM! MOVING ON!

Jordi: Our next topic is "Do monkeys have feet, and if so, are they opposable?"

Damien: The answer: a resounding NO! With visuals.

*silence*

Rowan: Moving on.

Jordi: Nothing seems to be working. Let's just try one more thing, huh? I'm tired.

Rowan: Ok! Ummm......but what shall we try?

Jordi: ummmm...dancing?

Rowan: Well, iss worth a try...*snap*

*Lights dim. Stage, DJ's box, and disco ball appear*

Sage: A blessing on your head, mazel tov, mazel tov...

Yami Sage: *pushes Sage out of the room*

Music: *starts playing Chicago overture*

Sage: *runs back in and starts Charlestoning* ^__^

Host/esses: *jamming*

Rowan: *to rest of cast* You can join in, you know! ^_^

Rest of the Cast: *pour in and start jamming*

Bunchu: *glowers*

Music: *changes to Tequila*

Sage: *grabs Bunchu and starts to swing-dance with him*

Bunchu: *tries to punch her*

Sage: *kicks him in the stomach*

Bunchu: *looks at her blankly*

Sage: *continues to swing-dance*

Bunchu: *reluctantly starts to copy her*

Raishinshi: *points and laughs* *trips over his own feet* Oof!

Sage: *giggles at Raishinshi* *keeps dancing*

Tequila: Doodooloo doooooooo doo! Doodoodoodoodoodoo DOO! Cthulhu!

Rowan: ^__^

Bunchu: *trips over Sage's feet* *stumbles forward*

Sage: Whaah! *gets pulled down by his fall*

Rowan: *gets into DJ's stand or whatever it's called and changes music*

Music: *starts playing Embassy Waltz from My Fair Lady*

Rowan: >_< wtf- stupid thing-

Sage: ^_~

Rowan: *pokes at music some more*

Music: *starts playing the FLCL ending theme, by The Pillows*

Rowan: ^___^ Rai-don shuu-tin staa~aa! Kokoro no koe wa! Kimi no iro de wa! Rai-don shuu-tin staa~aa!

Sage: *runs in and pokes at the music*

Music: Yappa paa yappa paa ii shan ten....

Rowan and Sage: We do not, know the words, la dee da dee da! ^__^

Sage: *grabs Bunchu and starts jamming randomly*

Bunchu: *stares at her blankly*

Sage: Come on, Bunchu! Dansu dansu dansu! *jams*

Bunchu: .....*walks out*

Sage: *sticks tongue out as he goes* No fun!

Rowan: *from DJ's stand* Well, I guess that's the end of the experiment...

Sage: Hey! I just realized! I'm not singing Fiddler anymore! I'm cured! Hazaa!!! *dances around*

Raishinshi: o_O umm...yay? *starts to walk away*

Sage: Oh yeah, Rai-chan? Could I possibly do the cooking tomorrow? Just tomorrow morning?

Raishinshi: Uhh…..ok…. *walks off*

~~~~~~~~~~~~Post-Experiment Thoughts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sage: Sunrise...sunset...sunrise....sunset....swiftly flow the days.......

Rowan: *humming the FLCL ending theme*

Fugen: Sage-san does have a really nice voice.

Raishinshi: She's going out of her way to do something.....wonder what she's up to.

Bunchu: I have NEVER been so humiliated in my whole life!!!

Nataku: How noisy.

Inside Jokes:

And now my Nibbles is dead: My friend Orenda was playing Pokemon Yellow. She has a Rattata named Nibbles. It got defeated. This phrase was born about the time we were typing that part, so Rowan just typed it in.

The Photograph: In the original Pizza Show, we had Youzen, Hakuyuko, Taikoubou, and Shinkouhyou and turned them into Chibis. And took pictures. Which I use for ways of persuasion.

Cthulhu: A deity in some book or another. My biological dad wrote a filk of Tequila that changed the word "Tequila" to "Cthulhu." That’s what we’re playing on.

Blast to the Past:

Becky is married!: Becky is my Mom's stuffed bear. Yin Hong loves her. In one episode, she was married to the Black Magician - long story.

Bacon: Yami Sage is obsessed with bacon. She eats way too much. 'Nuff said.

DDR: We played DDR. Bunchu snarled when we asked him to play.

Japanese:

Anou: Um...

Baka Aibou: Baka is stupid. Aibou is a term used for someone you care for IE: close friend or partner. You do the math.

Bunchu-chan wa totemo kirei desu: Bunchu is very pretty.

Sumimasen, technical difficulties ga arimasu. Chotto o-machi shimasu kudasai.: A fangirlish mix of uber-polite Japanese (keigo, used for customers often), English, and regular polite Japanese. "We are very sorry, but we are experiencing technical difficulties. Please wait a moment."

Sumimasen, o-ignore shimasu kudasai. Hen na shoujo imasu ga, soon de shizuka ni shimasu deshou.: Same as above. "Sorry, please ignore. There is a weird girl, but soon she will be quiet."

Chotto!: Hey!

Dansu dansu dansu!: Dance dance dance! Ok, this probably isn’t even a Japanese word. It’s my fangirlish Japanese pronunciation of the word.