The Pizza Show Experiment 2!

spoilers: TPSE part 1
characters: Most Anime cast, Xelloss from Slayers Next, Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
chapters: 7/7
retrieved from: Bunnyhat

Chapter Three

The Pizza Show Experiment! Part 2

Experiment #2

Tuesday morning:

(Rowan, Yami Sage, Jordi and Damien are sitting around the table. In the kitchen, we can hear clattering of pots and pans and Sage's voice humming cheerfully. The Hoshin Engi cast makes its way into the dining room)

Rowan: Ohayo, minna-san!

Fugen: *smiles* Good morning.

Tenka: *sleepily* Is the day so young?

Sage: *peeks into the room* Who's quoting Shakespeare???

Hoshin Engi cast: ???

Rowan: *points* Tenka did it! Tenka!

Sage: *eyes get really big* You like Shakespeare? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! *comes flying into the room and tackle-glomps Tenka. As she does, we see that she is wearing a white apron with neon-yellow smiley faces all over it*

Tenka: *being smothered with a "WTF?" expression on his face*

Raishinshi: *sweatdrop* Suddenly flowery pink doesn't look so bad...

Tenka: *blinks* What's Shakespeare?

Sage: *_* Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hands too much, Which mannerly devotion shows in this, For saints have hands that pilgrim's hands do touch, And palm to palm is holy palmer's kiss.

Tenka: ??? Hands....palms....kiss.....what's she on about?

Sage: *_* Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate, O anything of nothing first create! O heavy lightness, serious vanity, Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms, Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health, Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is! This love feel I, that feel no love in this.

Tenka: Naaaaaaaaniiiiiiiiiiii...? o_O

Taikoubou: *under his breath* She scares me.

Rowan: *humming "Friends" like nothing is happening*

Yami Sage: *sigh* Let me handle this.....*Goes right up to Sage's ear and screams at the top of her lungs* SHAKESPEARE IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sage: *turns around angrily* Shakespeare is NOT dead! Shakespeare is immortal!

Yami Sage: Now that you've gotten your head out of the clouds, could you kindly not burn our breakfast?

Sage: Oh! Right! *goes back into the kitchen*

Tenka: *scratches head* Who's Shakespeare again?

***(meanwhile in the kitchen)***

Sage: *looks around at all the food she's prepared* *grins* *whips out a small tin can* *opens the can. it's full of white powder* *takes a pinch of the powder and sprinkles it on the food* Breakfast is ready! *carries the plates in*

Raishinshi: It's about time! I'm starving!

Sage: *puts plates on the table neatly* I think you'll find that you've got some competition, Raishinshi ^_~

Everyone (except Nataku and Bunchu): Ooh...*start snarfing food like mad*

Bunchu: *quietly and almost reluctantly nibbles on some pancakes*

Fugen: Wow, Sage, this is delicious!

Rowan: *sweatdrop* *quietly, to Sage* You know, it would've been funnier if you had botched it...

Sage: *glare* They have to eat it, you know!

Rowan: You DID make some food without the powder, for us, right?

Sage: *hands her a chocolate chip muffin* I gotcha covered. And there isn't any in the bacon, which should make Yami happy.

Rowan: *looks at Yami Sage and sweatdrops* Good thinking...so what do we do about Nataku?

Sage: *hands can to Rowan* Leave that to your annoying fangirlness ^_~

Rowan: ^__^ *takes can* *lightbulb appears over her head* Stupid thing...put this in the drawer, will you? *hands Sage the lightbulb, grabs a glass of water and puts some powder in it* *goes over to Nataku* *bad casual act* Hey, Nataku, how's it going? I'll bet you're thirsty! Hey, want some water? *offers water with a cheesy grin*

Nataku: *glances at Rowan* I'm not touching that. I can tell right now that you're up to something.

Rowan: That's cold, Nataku, really cold. Suspecting me of being up to something? Little old me? I could NEVER plot evilly against my favorite bishie!

Nataku: This from the girl who grabs me at every possible moment, pesters me mercilessly about Raishinshi, tried to make me drink tea....

Rowan: *sweatdrop* Um...forget about the tea, okay? But honestly, how could you expect someone this cute to ever do something evil? *cheesy cute grin*

Nataku: *emotionlessly* Kawaii, kowai.

Rowan: *big sweatdrop* *muttering to herself* Plan 2... *tosses the powder in his face and runs away*

Nataku: .....*cough* *faints*

Taikoubou: *starting to nod off* Why am I so sleepy?

Hong: *rubs eyes* Me too.....

Fugen: *yawns quietly and cutely*

Rowan and Sage: Hehehehehe...*see Fugen* eee! cute!...hehehehehe...

Raishinshi: *drops his head on the table with a thud and falls asleep*

Fugen: *rests his head on his arms*

Kibi and Kijin: *fall asleep on top of each other*

Dakki: *snuggling Damien as usual* D-sama......zzzzzzzz

Youzen: *snoring loudly*

Sage: *snaps and a pillow appears on Youzen's face*

Rowan: Okay, then...shall we?

Yami Sage: *looks up, mouth full of bacon* Mmfrflm?

Sage: Chew and swallow, Yami.

Yami Sage: Nzda?

Sage: CAUSE I SAID SO NOW DO IT!!!!

Yami Sage: *snaps to attention* Yssr!

Sage: *sigh* *turns to Damien* You got the machine?

Jordi: *pokes at Taikoubou* Wow! Out like a light! What'd you use

anyway?

Sage: *holds up can* Fangirl Sleepy Powder! Odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly, knocks the victim out for two whole hours undisturbed! Now yours for the low low price of $999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999.99!

Rowan: Does not include shipping and handling. Offer void outside of Siberia.

Jordi: UBER-SPIFFY! ^_^

Damien: Got the machine right here! *holds up a hand-held mirror*

Yami Sage: What the heck is that?

Sage: This, my friend, is the Dreamweaver 2000!!!!

Random choir: Laaaaa......

Yami Sage: THAT'S the Dreamweaver 2000?!?

Random choir: Laaaaaaa........

Sage: Shut up! This isn't one of those times!

Random choir: Oh. Sorry.

Sage: Yes it is, Yami. Why? What's wrong?

Yami Sage: Oh nothing. I was just expecting something a little.....bigger.

Sage: We couldn't afford the Dreamweaver 2001.

Rowan: But the Dreamweaver 2001 is a lot bigger! *holds up a catalog with a picture of a full-length mirror*

Yami Sage: .....FREAKS!

Sage, Rowan, Damien and Jordi: Thank you! ^_^

Sage: *plugs a keyboard into the handle of the mirror* Jordi, did you bring the Dreamcorder?

Jordi: *holds up a rubber ducky* Yup! ^_^

Yami Sage: AAGH! MY BRAIN IS EXPLODING! AAAAGGHH! *starts running into walls*

Sage: *grabs Yami Sage and sets her in a chair* Easy girl.....it's all gonna be ok.....

Yami Sage: MY BRAIN!! YOU KILLED IT! I'LL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

Sage: Oh, your poor knee....*pats her on the shoulder sympathetically*

Yami Sage: *starts banging her head on the wall again*

Rowan: Aw, just leave her, Sage. We gotta do the dreams.

Sage: *rubs hands together* Hehehehehe......this is gonna be excellent!

Rowan: *jumping up and down, following Sage to the Dreamweaver* I claim Nataku's! I wanna do Nataku's dream!

Sage: Then I call Bunchu's. *evil grin*

Jordi: I CALL HIKO!

Damien: I'll do Kibi's. *sorta-evil grin*

Rowan: I wanna do Raishinshi's too! *giggle*

Sage: No way! I wanna do Raishinshi's!

Rowan: You can do Taiky-san's! I wanna do Raishinshi's!

Sage: Why can't you do Taikoubou's???

Jordi: I'm doing Raishinshi's, now both of you shut up! *holds mirror in front of Raishinshi and starts typing furiously on the keyboard*

Rowan and Sage: Awww...

Damien: *holding up rubber ducky*

Hosts: *crowd around the Dreamweaver looking over Jordi's shoulder* *start giggling madly*

Sage: Yes! Right there! That's perfect! You're a genius, Jordi!

Jordi: I know! ^___^ *finishes typing* Ok, we'll let it go on its own from here.

Sage: Lucky the Dreamcorder can multi-task. Wouldn't wanna miss a minute of that. NEway....*holds mirror in front of Bunchu* *starts typing*

Jordi: *giggles*

Yami Sage: *ticked* AIBOU!!!!! *starts trying to strangle Sage*

Sage: *avoiding her yami and still trying to type* *innocently* Yes?

Yami Sage: Hell no you're not doing this to me!

Sage: Rating!

Yami Sage: I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE FUCKIN' RATING!

Sage: *sigh* Rowan?

Rowan: Roger-su! *drags Yami Sage off*

Yami Sage: *now freaked* No....not the soap! No! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

(Muffled gurgly noises follow)

Rowan: *comes back grinning evilly* Is it my turn yet?

Sage: Almost. *types some more* Okay!

Rowan: Yay! *grabs the Dreamweaver and runs over to Nataku* Hehehehehe...*starts typing*

Hosts: *crowd around looking over her shoulder*

Jordi: Hey, you're going for the same idea as I am!

Rowan: But it's Nataku. He'll probably react differently ^_~

*pause*

Sage: OH MY GOD! Damien, are you getting this on tape?!

Damien: Every minute of it, Sage...and I'm laughing my a- butt off!

Sage and Rowan: *fangirl squeals* OH MY GOD HE'S REALLY DOING IT! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD- *etcetcetc*

Jordi: *rolling on the floor laughing*

Yami Sage: *returns, spitting out little bits of soap* *sees the mirror* o_o

*later, after all the dreams are done*

Sage: *breathing too hard from laughing* Okay...time to bring them into the lounge.

Rowan: But what about Fugen's dream?

Sage: No! He looks so peaceful! Let him sleep! *strokes Fugen possessively*

Rowan: Oh all right......let's move them.

Sage: *scoops Fugen up effortlessly*

Rowan: *lifts Hong over her shoulder*

Yami Sage: *struggling to drag Hiko by the arms*

Damien and Jordi: *both carrying Taikoubou*

Sage: *carries Fugen in and lays him on the couch* *snaps a blanket and a pillow*

Yami Sage: Aibou.....

Sage: *fluffs up the pillow and puts it under Fugen's head*

Yami Sage: *louder* Aibou.....

Sage: *starts tucking Fugen in lovingly*

Yami Sage: Yo Sage!

Sage: *snaps a small brown old-looking, well-loved stuffed cat and tucks it into Fugen's arms*

Fugen: *snuggles the cat*

Sage: Awww! *starts melting into a small puddle of molten fangirl goo*

Yami Sage: AIBOU!!!

Sage: *jumps* What-who-where-huh-wha? What is it, Yami?

Yami Sage: *still trying to drag Hiko* Little help?

Sage: Fine...fine.....*kisses Fugen on the cheek before going to help Yami Sage*

Fugen: *twitches cutely at the kiss*

Rowan: *puts Hong down in an armchair and goes back for Xiao*

Sage and Yami Sage: *put Hiko in a big armchair*

Damien and Jordi: *plop Taikoubou down somewhere and go back for Raishinshi*

Sage and Yami Sage: *pick up Nataku*

Both Sages and Damien and Jordi: *wink at each other*

Rowan: *puts Xiao in the armchair with Hong*

Xiao and Hong: *snuggle cutely*

Rowan: Awwww.... *goes for Shinkouhyou before she starts melting*

Sage and Yami Sage: *sit Nataku in the corner of the couch*

Damien and Jordi: *put Raishinshi next to him*

Raishinshi: *snuggles up to Nataku*

Hosts: *giggle softly*

Rowan: *arranges them so they're more lying down and more snugglesome*

(Soon everyone is moved. Sage quickly snaps a few pictures, namely of Fugen, Xiao and Hong, and of course, Raishinshi and Nataku)

Rowan: Okay then...*grins evilly and holds up markers* Let's go to work...

(Evil laughter is heard.)

*later*

Raishinshi: *slowly begins to wake up. Veeery slowly. The first thing that comes to his attention is a drowsy feeling of comfort, a vague flowery scent, and something warm and fuzzy and red. As he opens his eyes...* GAAAH! *...he leaps about three feet up and backwards, going head over heels over the back of the couch.* I-te...

Nataku: *sits up slowly* ...Huh? *looks at Raishinshi and blushes slightly*

Taikoubou: *sits up groggily* What happened?

Fugen: *stretches out on the couch with a big adorable yawn* That was a nice nap.

Taikoubou: *stands up*

Fugen: *sits up and looks up at Taikoubou* *stares for a minute*

Taikoubou: What?

Fugen: *giggles*

Taikoubou: What??

Fugen: *laughs and points at a mirror that was randomly put in the corner of the room*

Taikoubou: *looks at the mirror* GYAAH! *he has whiskers and a little black nose drawn on his face, and has "BUNNY-BOY" written across his forehead*

Rowan: *from behind* *cutesy high-pitched anime voice* Kawaii desu ne?

Taikoubou: KAWAIKUNEE!

Rowan: Whatever you say, Ranma! ^_^

(Everyone has stuff on their face except Fugen, who just snickers at everyone else. Bunchu looks furious, although you can't really tell, especially since he's got a cat face drawn on him. Raishinshi is now sporting a new moustache. Nataku is surreptitiously trying to rub off the kissy-marks. Youzen has "I’m with stupid" with an arrow pointing to himself on his forehead.)

Tenka: *now sporting new scars and Goth makeup, courtesy of Jordi* Who on earth....who....waitaminnit...

*Everyone suddenly turns to Fugen.*

Fugen: *cocks his head* Eh?

Youzen: *turns away, muttering* No, he wouldn't....

Tenka: *points a finger at Fugen* It was YOU!

Fugen: Nani??? *looks innocent* But I was asleep the whole time!

Raishinshi: Yeah, right! Then how come you're the only one without scribbles all over your face, ya little- little- um- I'll think of something!

Fugen: *hopefully/desperately* Bou-chan? You know I didn't do this, right?

Taikoubou: *shakes head* I know you, Fugen...and this does look suspicious....I'M NOT A BUNNY, YOU LITTLE SNEAK!

Fugen: *curls up into a ball* It's not fair! I've been framed, I tell you! Framed! *starts to tear up*

Youzen: Perhaps we are being a little hasty with accusations?

Tai-Itsu: He's right. Where are the hosts?

Voice: DUN DUN DUNNNN!

All: *turn to the doorway to see the hosts standing there*

Rowan: *walks into the room* I confess, everyone. It was I who stole the butter this morning.

Everyone: ....*stares at her*

Rowan: *sweatdrop* Okay, so that wasn't funny. But yeah, it was the hosts who scribbled on your faces.

Taikoubou: *glomps Fugen* I knew it wasn't you! I'm sorry to accuse you! Gomen nasai gomen nasai gomen nasai!!!!

Fugen: Erk....anou....Bou-chan......oxygen? x_x

Sage: Eep! *frantically separates Taikoubou and Fugen* Daijoubu desu ka, Little One?

Fugen: *cough cough* Fine. Thanks.

Raishinshi: *muttering* Hostess's pet.

Nataku: *muttering* I quite agree.

Raishinshi: *looks at Nataku in surprise, blushing somewhat remembering his dream* We just agreed on something?

Nataku: *also blushing remembering his dream* I think so.

Sage: *holds up a handful of tapes* Hey, how about we forget all about what happened and watch some movies???

Taikoubou: I wanna wash this off first!

Sage: Humph! Picky picky picky. *snaps and all the scribbles disappear* NOW can we watch some videos?

Taikoubou: Fine by me!

Fugen: Okay!

Hong: What's a video?

Sage: *giggles and pats Hong on the head* Don't you just love this kid?

*you hear muttered "no"s*

Sage: >_<* *loudly* Don't you just LOVE this kid? *death glare around the room*

Everyone: O_O Eep!

Fugen: *snicker-giggle*

Sage: Ok, let's see here.....*pops a tape into a VCR that randomly appeared in the lounge along with a TV and it's all set up*

***TV screen***

3-year-old Rowan: Ya~ay, ya~ay, ya~ay, yay! We're off to see the Wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz! *jumping up and down on the couch* I like cats! Yes I do! C-A-T-S, yes I do!

Voice from off-screen: Isn't she just so cute when she's hyper? Here, Rowan, have some chocolate!

3-year-old Rowan: Ya~ay! I like chocolate, yes I do, C-H-O-K-A-L-TAY-

***TV goes fuzzy***

Rowan: *holding the tape, blushing furiously* Wrong tape.

Hong: That was you as a kid, Rowan?

Fugen: You were so cute <3!

Rowan: *blushes harder, starts crushing the tape behind her back*

Raishinshi: *muttering, to her* Now you know how I feel.

Rowan: *hissed* That's different!

Sage: Ok, ok, here's the correct tape! *pops it in*

***TV screen***

Hiko: *is walking alone in a dark forest without his staff*

Random shadow: *moves*

Hiko: *jumps* Who's there?

Random shadow: *Australian accent* No one here but us crocs, mate!

Hiko: o_O;;;

Gigantic Oreo: *suddenly comes roaring down the path behind Hiko* RARR!

Hiko: EEP! *starts running like mad* *comes to a fork in the path*

Another Gigantic Oreo: *is rolling down one path*

Hiko: AGH! *takes off down the other path*

Lots of Little Oreos: *join the chase, nipping at Hiko's heels, making little squeaky noises very much like in "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"*

Hiko: NOOO! I'm too young to die! Save me, Bunchu!

Bunchu: *appears off to the side sorta Xelloss-like* *with an Australian accent* What's my motivation, mate? *to Oreos* After him, mates! *more Oreos go chasing after Hiko*

Fugen: *appears* *British-Cockney accent* ‘ave you gents lost your way?

Hiko: Save me, Fugen! The Oreos are after me!

Fugen: h'Oreos, then? Well, I'd better be off. Don't want 'em to bite me blinkin' 'ead off now, do I? *disappears*

Hiko: NOOOOO!!! What's happening? Everything's all crazy! *starts turning into an Oreo* *starts screaming*

Arthur (from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy): *appears* Hiko, you're turning into an Oreo. Stop it.

Giant Sage: *appears* *coyly* Hello, Hiko-chan! Why, I could just eat you up! *grabs him*

Hiko: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

***(End of tape)***

Raishinshi: *rolling on the floor, laughing so hard he can't breathe*

More or Less Everyone Else: *ditto*

Hiko: *head buried in his arms* *rocking back and forth* Can't sleep...Oreos will eat me....can't sleep.....Oreos will eat me....

Fugen: *is absent-mindedly playing with the stuffed kitty(hereafter Purr)* *giggles* *flattered* I got a cameo! ^_^

Sage: You remember that, don't you, Hiko-chan?

Hiko: That was......that was.....I dreamed that.....seemed to real.......I want my mommy....

Rowan: *biiiig sweatdrop* Okay then...yes, well, as Hiko pointed out, that was his dream. Can anyone else figure out what's on the rest of the tapes? Class?

Hong: *raises hand* Ooh! I know! Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!

Rowan: Yes, Hong?

Hong: *puts hand down* More Oreos?

Everyone: *facefault*

Fugen: *raises hand*

Rowan: Hai, Fugen?

Fugen: The rest of the dreams?

Rowan: Ding ding ding! Very good, Fugen! You get a gold star! *sticks one on his forehead*

Fugen: *rubs his forehead dubiously*

Sage: Now.....not all the dreams were this funny...

Hiko: *high pitched* FUNNY???

Sage:...so we'll just show you the good ones. *pops in another tape*

***(TV Screen)***

Bunchu: *is sitting in an armchair in his apartments, not doing anything*

Voice Off-camera: Oh Bunchu-chaaaaaaann.......

Bunchu: *scowls and looks in the direction of the voice*

Yami Sage: *comes through the door wearing a low-cut, short-skirted red dress* Hey you...*flutters eyelashes flirtatiously. Barry White music starts to play* I hope you don't mind if I make myself comfortable. *pulls a champagne bottle out*

Bunchu: *raises an eyebrow*

Yami Sage: *sets the champagne bottle down and sits on the arm of Bunchu's chair* *snakes her arms around his neck* It must be so lonely, being Lord Chancellor...I mean, you must be so busy, always working, no time off...*starts to slide into his lap*

Bunchu: *now starting to show signs of being scared*

Yami Sage: I thought I'd come up here and cheer you up. *licks his nose playfully*

***(tape stops)***

Sage: *pouts* Spoil sport.

Rowan: *holding the tape* What happens next is probably not suitable for anyone, so just use your imagination....

Raishinshi: Hey come on! It was getting good!

Yami Sage: *fiery glare* Why, you...I'LL SHOW YOU GETTING GOOD...!!! *dives after Raishinshi*

Sage: *sigh* Fine. But we get to see *all* of Nataku's dream, 'k?

Rowan: *evil grin* No argument there.

Jordi and Damien: *cackle*

Sage: Spiffy ^_^ But first let's see Taikoubou's and Rai-chan's. *pops in another tape and sits back down next to Fugen* *to Fugen* Popcorn?

Fugen: Why, yes! Thank you. ^_^ *takes some popcorn*

Sage: ^_^ Cute! *takes some for herself*

Yami Sage: COME BACK HERE, YOU...

***(TV screen)***

Taikoubou: *sitting by the river "fishing"* Ah, it's so peaceful here...*a few minutes go uneventfully.....* *starts showing signs of discomfort* Ugh, this thing is getting too tight. *reaches up to loosen his hat*

Hat: *bites him*

Taikoubou: Ouch! Hey, that hurt! What gives?

Hat: *evil laugh* *pulls itself over his eyes* Guess who!

Taikoubou: Oh, I always hated this game! Um....Fugen?

Hat: Nope!

Taikoubou: President Bush?

Hat: Try again!

Taikoubou: Those evil flying monkeys Genshitenson keeps?

Hat: Genshitenson keeps evil flying monkeys?

Taikoubou: Yeah! You never knew that?

Hat: Well that's still wrong! Three strikes you're out! *starts to tighten and work its way down Taikoubou's face*

Taikoubou: *muffled* Oh, no! It's those evil face-sucker plants! I should have guessed!

Hat: *starts smothering him*

Taikoubou: *tries to pull the hat off* *muffled* Help! Help!!!

Hat: Hahaha!

Taikoubou: *muffled* No! I'm too young to die!

Hat: You're seventy-two years old! Give it a break!

Taikoubou: *muffled* EIGHTY-two!

Hat: Yeah, whatever. *tightens*

Taikoubou: NOOOOO!!!

***(end of tape)***

Taikoubou: *throws hat to the floor and stomps on it* Die! Die! Go to Hell and burn like the demon you are! Muahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Sage: Rating, Bou-chan.

Fugen: *frowns* Only I'm allowed to call him Bou-chan!

Sage: You can't share? *snuggle snuggle*

Fugen: Anou......

More or Less Everyone: *muffled snickers*

Rowan: *breathing hard from laughing* Moving on... *pops in another tape*

***(TV Screen)***

Kibi: *skipping through the palace* Kibi is happy! Kibi likes candy! Kibi likes to talk about herself in the third person! Yayiyayiyayi! Kibi is happy! Eh? *sees something in the distance* Nan desu ka?

Kijin: *is hiding near the ceiling with a fishing rod, dangling a candy bar* *turns to camera* Shh! Don't tell her I'm up here!

Kibi: Oooooooh.....candy! *tries to make a grab for the candy*

Kijin: *Yanks fishing rod up, pulling the candy out of Kibi's reach*

Kibi: No! Kibi wants it! Kibi wants the candy! *jumps some more*

Kijin: *snicker*

Kibi: *sniffle* Why are you laughing at Kibi, candy bar-chan? Kibi just wants to catch you and eat you! Is that so bad?

Kijin: *continues to tease Kibi*

***

Sage: *pulls tape out* It's pretty much like that through the whole thing.

Kibi: Whaaaaaaah! Kibi wants the candy bar!!!

Damien: -_-' *throws a candy bar at Kibi*

Kibi: *catches it in mouth* ^_^

Sage: Ok, we have saved the best for last; we have our two favorites right here! *pops in another tape*

***(TV Screen)***

Raishinshi: *sitting at a table with his brothers while wearing the flowery pink apron*

Hatsu: So, Raishinshi, how's Nataku been?

Raishinshi: Nataku? What's he got to do with anything?

Nataku: *suddenly comes into the room* *doesn't say anything* *just goes over to Raishinshi and begins to snuggle him*

Raishinshi: Neep! What're you doing, Nataku?

Tan: Ah, you're finally here, Nataku.

Hatsu: *laughing, to Hakuyuko* Don't they look so cute snuggling?

Raishinshi: C-c-CUTE???

Nataku: *nuzzles Raishinshi's hair* Just let it be, love.

Raishinshi: *bright red* AAAAHH! Get offa me!! SOU NA!!!

Brothers: *point and laugh*

Raishinshi: GO AWAAAAAAAY! *starts to run, dragging Nataku who is clinging to his apron strings obsessively*

Random people: *point* Bat-boy's gay! Bat-boy's gay!

Raishinshi: NOOOOOOOO!!!! THIS IS NO LIFE FOR A HERO!!!!!!! MAKE IT STOOOOP!!!

Nataku: What's wrong, Rai-chan?

Raishinshi: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET OFFA MEEEEE! *throws Nataku off and starts to run like heck*

Nataku: Rai-chan?

Raishinshi: *run run run run trip splat* Oof!

Nataku: *tackles Raishinshi* I gotcha ^_~

Raishinshi: HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!

***(end of tape)***

Raishinshi and Nataku: *look at each other* *turn away blushing*

*snicker snicker*

Raishinshi: *whirls around* URUSAI!

Rowan: *chanting* Way to go, knuckle-head!

Hosts: URUSAI! URUSAI!

Rowan: Way to go, knuckle-head!

Hosts: URUSAI! URUSAI!

Sage and Damien: *do a guitar riff, pretending to be playing a guitar*

Rowan and Jordi: URUSAI! URUSAI!

Yami Sage: *coughcough*

Sage: ^^ Right. OK, let's get to the last one. This one's *my* personal favorite ^_~

Nataku: *suddenly gets this sense of impending doom*

***(TV screen)***

Nataku: *is lying, relaxing in a field of daisies and clover*

Raishinshi: *suddenly comes out of no where and pounces on Nataku* Boo!

Nataku: *jumps* What're you doing here, Raishinshi?

Raishinshi: Just stopping by to say hello ^_~ *has his arms around Nataku and his face on Nataku's shoulder* I mean, it's been a while, you know.

Nataku: ....

Raishinshi: I've missed you ^_^ *tickles Nataku*

Nataku: *pushes Raishinshi's hands away* Stop it.

Raishinshi: *snickers and cuddles closer, sighing*

Nataku: *getting very nervous* *thinking* This must be a dream...well...may as well go along with it... *hesitantly leans his head against Raishinshi's*

***

Sage: Awwwww! Snuggle-heads!

***

Raishinshi: *making himself comfortable* So how have things been in your neck of the woods? I'll bet you've missed me. *wink*

Nataku: *plays half-mindedly with Raishinshi's hair* Un...

Raishinshi: Come on, Nataku. If you've got something to say, say it already!

Nataku: ...

Raishinshi: *sighs* I see you're as talkative as ever.

Nataku: *has no idea what he's supposed to do now*

Raishinshi: *hugs Nataku by the arm* Still building up the good old muscles, I see.

Nataku: *completely clueless*

Raishinshi: *smiles slyly* And you're still as clumsy as always.

Nataku: *rolls so that he has Raishinshi pinned to the ground* What's that supposed to mean?

Raishinshi: *just grins* Take a wild guess.

***

Sage: Ooh! This is my favorite part!

Rowan: He's going for it! He's going for it!

***

Raishinshi: *runs fingers through Nataku's hair and starts pulling him in*

Nataku: *makes a little nervous sound* *closes his eyes*

*KISU*

***

Sage and Rowan: KYAAAAAA!!!! SMOOOOOOOCHIIIIIIIIIES!!!!!!!!!

***

Nataku: *breathing hard, blushing bright red*

Raishinshi: *not-quite-giggles* Still a bad kisser, too.

Nataku: *growl* Excuse me? *kisses Raishinshi roughly*

Raishinshi: ^_-

Nataku: *pulls away* Hah. *suddenly realizes what position they're in and blushes*

Raishinshi: *laughs* Nervous, flower-boy?

Nataku: Try me, batty.

(Enter major smoochies and they vanish into the flowers)

***(end of tape)***

Raishinshi: *is nowhere to be seen*

Nataku: *is leaning against the back wall, more emotionless than ever*

Everyone: *turns to Nataku*

Nataku: *steadfastly refuses to blush*

Hatsu: That....was PRICELESS. *breaks down laughing*

Rowan and Sage: *o* THAT WAS SO SWEET! EEEEE!!!

Youzen: Where's Raishinshi?

Damien: He's under the couch. *points*

(we hear moaning under the couch)

Raishinshi: My reputation......up in smoke! Someone please kill me now.......*sob*

Taikoubou: That's okay, Raishinshi. You have my support, no matter what choice you make.

Raishinshi: BUT I'M NOT GAY!!!!! That's not the way of a hero!

Rowan: Now, that is just not true! Alexander the Great had a male lover, you know.

Sage: And so does Ranma. Lots of 'em! *giggle*

Damien: *looks at Sage weird*

Sage: Oh come on, D-kun! You saw the way he was lookin' at Ryoga!

Damien: *shakes his head* No comment. NO FREAKIN' COMMENT, YA HEAR??

Raishinshi: *sobs* I'm not gay! I'm not I'm not I'm not!

Jordi: Oh, dear. In denial.

Sage: That's one symptom of it being true ^_~

Raishinshi: GAAAH! *runs upstairs*

*silence*

Jordi: AWKWARD SILENCE, PEOPLES! Start talking!

Damien: AwkwardsilencePLEATH.

Jordi: That's better.

Hakuyuko and Hatsu: *exchange glances*

Hatsu: *shrug* He'll be fine. Just leave him alone for now, he'll simmer down.

Fugen: Anou...where's Nataku?

***Upstairs***

Raishinshi: *face buried in his pillow. muffled sobs can be heard*

Nataku: *opens door warily* Raishinshi?

Raishinshi: *muffled* Go away!

Nataku: *flies in slowly* *floats there, unsure what to do*

Raishinshi: *sits up* *after a pause* Why are you here?

Nataku: *shrugs and looks away*

Raishinshi: Why did you do that? In the dream, I mean.

Nataku: It was a dream. I didn't think it would do any harm to just go along with it.

*pause*

Raishinshi: Did you like it?

Nataku: *blush* What?

Raishinshi: *slowly grinning* Did you like it?

Nataku: *blushing* Of course not.

Raishinshi: Really.

Nataku: Whatever...*gets up* You shouldn't make such a fuss over it. It was just a dream. *floats away*

Raishinshi: *just sits there, thinking*

******Post-Experiment Thoughts******

Sage: Those dreams were weird. But not as weird as that one with President Bush and the Asian girls...*sweatdrop* Well, whatever….."There is no world without Verona’s walls But purgatory, torture, Hell itself…."

Yami Sage: Ow. Too much baaaacon...

Rowan: KAWAII!!! *starry fangirl-eyes* Natarai fluffage YAY!

Jordi: Tenka looks so COOL Goth! He didn't really seem to like it, though...

Damien: *humming to himself* Way ta go, knucklehead! URUSAI! URUSAI!...

Raishinshi: I'm not gonna think about how nice Nataku's hair smells.....nope. I'm not gonna think about it. I'm not gonna think about it.........damn!

Youzen: "I'm with stupid.. " HA!

Taikoubou: Stupid bunny-hat! Die, evil thing! Die!

Fugen: ^_^ Neko wa kawaii, ne?

Nataku: Get out of my head, you stupid mind-reading authoresses! I can't think about Ra- with you in there!

Purr: Meow! ^_^

Hiko: Can't sleep....Oreos will get me....Can't sleep....Oreos will get me....

Arthur: Oreos, penguins, what's the difference.

Kibi: Yay! Kibi likes candy bars. Munch munch munch!

Inside jokes:

"Way to go, knucklehead": This is from Sonic Adventure. When Sonic finds out that Knuckles got tricked by Eggman (Dr. Robotnic) AGAIN, he comments "Way to go, knucklehead." To which, in the Japanese version, Knuckles replies "URUSAI!" Damien made a rap of this, which we were reciting.

President Bush and the Asian girls: The weirdest dream I've ever had in my life. All I'll say about it is that Bunchu was ticked off at me for some unknown reason and he sent President Bush and a bunch of Asian girls after me. o_O

AwkwardsilencePLEATH: We have a friend named Danny. He's weird. He likes to say things really fast followed by PLEATH. Hence, "AwkwardsilencePLEATH."

Your poor knee: This was in part one as well. Rowan got it from Hikaness’s fanfiction "The Pencil Show." Apparently Hika’s brain is in her knee. *sweatdrop*

Purr: My precious stuffed kitty that I got when I was about two. I’ve luved her ever since. People tell me that playing with her is addictive. I agree ^_^

Japanese:

Nani?: What?

Kawaii, kowaii: Kawaii means cute. Kowaii means scary (or scared). You'll notice they sound very similar. This can be seen as a reflection on the Japanese culture, but here it's just being used as a pun.

Kawaii desu ne?: Isn't it so CUTE! Something Rowan says a lot. Like a broken record...

Kawaikunee!: Uncute! Something Ranma says a lot.

Gomen nasai!: I'm so sorry!

Daijoubu desu ka?: Are you okay?

Nan desu ka?: What is it?

Sou na!: It can't be!

un: more or less "yeah".

Kisu: Kiss. Like you couldn’t figure that out?

Urusai!: Shut up!

Neko wa kawaii, ne?: Isn't the kitty cute?

I-te….: ow……

Hai: Yes

Blast to the Past:

Tea: Rowan said to Nataku once "Would you like a cup of tea?" which she says to people a lot just to be silly. Nataku, however, took this seriously, being banned from consuming other plants.

In case you all were wondering, the four Shakespeare quotes recited within this chapter are all from Romeo and Juliet. Of the three Shakespeare plays I’ve read (Romeo and Juliet, Taming of the Shrew, Much Ado About Nothing), that one is the most recitable. Then again, the other two are comedies, so the lines aren’t quite as deep.