The Pizza Show Experiment 2!

spoilers: TPSE part 1
characters: Most Anime cast, Xelloss from Slayers Next, Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
chapters: 7/7
retrieved from: Bunnyhat

Chapter Five

The Pizza Show Experiment! Part 2

Experiment #4

Thursday morning:

(It was another peaceful morning in the secret laboratory-place-type-thing...whatever it's called.)

Sage: It's called my house!

(Whatever! In any case, it was another PEACEFUL morning here. Everyone was gathered around the breakfast table awaiting breakfast, as usual. It was all very peaceful. Yup, very peaceful.

I'm not fooling you, am I?)

Yami Sage: I WANT MY BACON!

Raishinshi: I told you, I'm not making it any more! I'm SICK and TIRED of you throwing up every night, waking me up!

Yami Sage: GIVE ME BACON NOW!

Raishinshi: Fuck off and die! *gives her the finger.*

Sage: RATING!

Rowan: You bumped it up, remember?

Sage: Oh, sorry. Force of habit. *sheepish grin*

Yami Sage: I WANT MY FUCKIN' BACON YOU MUTHAFUCKIN' BAT BOY! I DON'T FUCKIN' CARE IF I FUCKIN' THROW UP! JUST GIVE ME MY FUCKIN' BACON!!!!

Sage: *stuffs a pair of big smelly socks into Yami Sage's mouth* Calm down, Jay.

Yami Sage: MMFRFMKLMEMFRLFMM- *cough cough* *faints*

Sage: Sheesh....

Fugen: *takes his hands away from Hong's ears*

Raishinshi: *kicks Yami Sage in the head* I AM NOT A FUCKIN' BAT BOY! *storms back into the kitchen*

Fugen: *sweatdrop*

Sage: Raishinshi, I know I changed the rating, but PLEASE not in front of Hong!

Raishinshi: Why the h- *glances at Hong, where Fugen is posed to cover his ears again* *softens* *grumbling* Oh, fine. Whatever.

Damien: Well that was quite an eventful morning.

Jordi: Never a peaceful minute in here.

(Hey, I just said it was a PEACEFUL morning!)

Jordi: Ah, shaddup.

Fugen: *glance at Yami Sage* I think I lost my appetite.

Sage: She does that a lot. *sweatdrop*

Fugen: Who is "Jay" anyway?

Sage: You don't wanna know. Trust me.

Fugen: *sweatdrop* Ok.

Raishinshi: *brings breakfast out, still looking very ticked*

Sage: Arigatou, Rai-Rai-Boy! ^_~

Raishinshi: -_-* *goes back in the kitchen*

Tenka: *munching on pancakes* So...what's today's experiment?

Sage: *suddenly very serious* It is a test for you all.....to test your skills, your mind, and your courage. And to pass these tests, you must trust in yourself and in others.

Taikoubou: *munching* Is it an eating contest?

Sage: Nope! It's a three-legged race! ^_^

*collective facefault*

Sage: Through a big scary maze!

Rowan: With us throwing water balloons and other random stuff at you! ^_^

Sage: And there are monsters too! Big scary monsters! Little scary monsters! Big scary monsters who just want to be your friend! All kinds of monsters!

Jordi: I supplied the pocket dragons!

Sage: And there are riddles, too. Like "Why did the chicken cross the road?" and "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?" and.....

Rowan: Ok, let's not give them everything.

Sage: But....but....but....

Rowan: We do want there to be some surprises, remember?

Sage: *pouts*

Hong: Sounds scary....

Rowan: Aww...*hugs him* Dun worry, Hong. It's okay. You'll have a big brave partner.

Nataku: I work alone.

Sage: That's nice, Nataku. *suddenly smirks*

Fugen: Who's my partner?

Hosts: *in unison* We dunno.

Sage: We pick the names out of a hat.

Raishinshi: *whew!*

Sage: *smirk*

Tenka: *blinks* Did anyone else see that?

Taikoubou: See what? *looks at Sage, who has stopped smirking*

Sage: *blinks innocently*

Tenka: ...never mind.

Hatsu: So.......when exactly do we start?

Sage: Right now! Everyone, come this way.

Rowan: IKU ZO NE!

Everyone: *goes outside* Whoa...

Taikoubou: That's....

Hong: ...really tiny. *is playing with a tiny bug in the grass* Hee hee!

*collective facefault*

Raishinshi: Wow.

Hiko: It's huge...

Taikoubou: That's a BIG labyrinth!

Hosts: BiglabyrinthPLEATH!

Cast: *look at them oddly* *shrug*

Sage: *snaps and a big red and white striped hat (think Dr. Seuss) appears* Ok, when I call your names, come up and get a scarf.

Rowan: *pulls the socks out of Yami Sage's mouth and slaps her awake* There's an odd number of people. We'll need you.

Yami Sage: ...why me...

Sage: *pulls the names out* Fugen Shinjin and......Kou Tenka.

Fugen: *smiles politely as he and Tenka go up*

Sage: *gives a red scarf to Fugen* Here you go. Just stand over there, you two. *points off somewhere* Next group........Youzen and......Bunchu.

Youzen: .... *looks vaguely mutinous*

Bunchu: *looks ticked, but you can't really tell the difference*

Sage: Behave yourselves, now! *hands them a blue scarf* Next group......Ki Hakuyuko and...............Dakki.

Dakki: ^_^

Hakuyuko: *looks afraid. Looks very afraid*

Sage: Be a good girl, Dakki. *gives her a yellow scarf* Next......Ki Hatsu and........Ko Kibi.

Kibi: Yaiyaiyaiyaiyai! Kibi thinks Hatsu is cute! *latches onto Hatsu's arm*

Hatsu: Why me.....

Sage: *gives them an orange scarf* Next group is......Taikoubou and...............Tai-Itsu Shinjin.

Tai-Itsu: *to himself* It could be worse...could be Nataku.

Taikoubou: That's the spirit, Tai-Itsu-san!

Tai-Itsu: o_O *wonders if he should be scared since Taikoubou used -san*

Sage: *hands a green scarf to Taikoubou* It brings out your eyes ^_~. Next group.....Kou Hiko and.....Shinkouhyou.

Shinkouhyou: Interesting. *smiles politely*

Hiko: *eyes Shinkouhyou warily*

Sage: *hands them a purple scarf*

Hiko: *glares at the scarf* Purple's not my color.

Shinkouhyou: *takes the scarf* This matches my outfit. ^^

Sage: o_O; Moving on........next group........Oh Kijin and......Yami Sage.

Yami Sage: Say WHAT????

Kijin: Pleased to meet you. I won't kill you if you don't kill me.

Yami Sage: Uh...deal?

Sage: Here you go, Yami! *hands her a hot pink scarf*

Yami Sage: Noooo! Why do I have to get the pink???

Sage: 'Cause I'm evil. ^_^ Next group.......Yin Xiao and......Yin Hong.

Hong: Yay! *huggles big brother*

Xiao: *smiles half-heartedly* Well, it's better than being with Dakki...

Sage: *hands them a black scarf* Matches your hair!

Hong: ^_^

Nataku: *crosses his arms - he knows what's coming*

Sage: Last group is--oops! *drops hat* Hehe, how clumsy of me! ^_^ *picks it up again, slipping the last two names in* Last group....Nataku and Ki Raishinshi!

Fugen: *giggles*

Taikoubou: *snerk* Why am I not surprised...

Raishinshi: Ch-chotto matte! Why do I hafta go with him?

Rowan: Luck of the draw! ^__^

Nataku: You cheated.

Sage: Eh? *looks innocent*

Nataku: You kept our names out until the end so we would be the last ones chosen.

Sage: Would we do that?

*silence. crickets chirp, even though it's midday*

Sage: Well whatever, you're on the same team, so you get this one. *hands them a white scarf* White for your wedding day ^_~

Raishinshi: *muttering* I think I'm going to puke or kill them, I'm not sure which.

Sage: *holds up picture* I heard that!

Raishinshi: *innocent* Heard what?

Sage: Whatever. Ok, everybody, get ready. Rowan, Damien, Jordi, go help them with the scarves.

Other hosts: Sir yes sir! *go around helping to tie everyone's legs together*

Fugen: Ouch! Not so tight!

Raishinshi: Don't touch me!

Nataku: *emotionless* I hate you.

Kibi: *bouncing and dragging Hatsu with her as she does* Yaiyaiyaiyai! Kibi is good at three-legged races!

Hatsu: *head hitting the ground with each bounce* Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Dakki: *glomps Hakuyuko* We're going to have fun aren't we, Hakuyuko-chan? *purrs*

Hakuyuko: *twitching slightly* Get away from me, you evil she-fox person.

Damien: DAKKI!

Dakki: *still glomping Hakuyuko innocently* Yes, D-sama?

Damien: I thought you loved ME!

*collective rolling of eyes*

Dakki: It's just one game of three-legged race, D-sama! Nothing to worry about. *huggles Hakky* Ne, Hakky-chan?

Hakuyuko: *twitching*

Sage: OKAY! Everybody, line up at the entrance!

Everyone: *does so*

Sage and Rowan: *stand on a random platform that rises up over the maze*

Damien and Jordi: *do the same thing with a different random platform*

Sage: ON YOUR MARK!

Rowan: GET SET!

Damien: GOOOOOOOOOOpleath!

Jordi: *fires one of those race gun thingies*

Rowan: *announcer voice* Aaaand...they're off! Kibi and Hatsu have taken off at an astounding speed of ZERO, 'cause Kibi isn't strong enough to drag Hatsu along!

Kibi: C'mon Hatsu! Kibi and Hatsu must win!

Hatsu: @_@ Owwwwww.........

Youzen: I say we go THAT way! The rule is to always go right!

Bunchu: Yes, but I wouldn't be surprised if the authoresses set it up so that doesn't work.

Youzen: Fine! We'll split up!

Bunchu: Fine by me!

Youzen and Bunchu: *step trip splat*

Jordi: *calling from above* Way to go, Mr. Genius Doushi! *throws a water balloon at them*

Youzen: *soaked from head to toe*

Bunchu: *scowls*

Hong: Isn't there a way you can find the exit by following the wall or something? Let's try that!

Xiao: Ok....be careful, though. She did say there are monsters and stuff.

Hong: But you'll defend me, right, big brother? *big cute eyes*

Xiao: Right. *pats Hong on the head*

Raishinshi: I said don't touch me!

Nataku: You're touching me.

Raishinshi: Well, stop it! *tries to edge away but it doesn't work*

Nataku: Baka.

Raishinshi: Urusai.

Sage: *throws water balloon* Wheeeeeee!

Water Balloon-san: *pops right on Nataku's head*

Nataku: *scowls in that cute Natakuish way as his hair droops and ends up (gasp!) lying flat*

Raishinshi: *laugh*

Sage: EEE! Kodak moment! *click*

Nataku: *death glare*

Sage: Hee hee......wheeeee! *throws another water balloon, this time at Raishinshi*

Raishinshi: Chotto! What gives here! *starts jumping up and down, shaking his fist* I'll get you, Sage--ackpth! *gets a water balloon right in the kisser*

Nataku: *laughing, which on him is like rolling on the ground unable to breathe*

Rowan: Wow! Nice shot, Nee-chan!

Raishinshi: You, too- *manages to tackle Nataku even though they're tied together*

Sage: *giggle*

Raishinshi: *is trying to beat the living daylights out of Nataku*

Nataku: *grabs Raishinshi by the arms and makes it so he's kneeling on Raishinshi's back*

Sage: *giggles* ATTAAAAAAACK!

Sage and Rowan: *start bombarding Nataku and Raishinshi with water balloons*

Raishinshi: *between splashes* Hey! *splash* Cut it out! *splash* *scowls* *splash* *to Nataku* Truce?

Nataku: *splash* *gasp* Yeah. *starts flying towards the platform, dragging Raishinshi along*

Raishinshi: Chotto ma- *bangs into a wall* x_x WAIT A GODDARN MINUTE!

Sage and Rowan: *see Nataku coming* Eep! *platform starts moving away*

Sage: *yelling* Oh, yeah, and no flying! *snaps and Nataku's Fuukarin disappear*

Nataku: ....*falls* *lands on top of Raishinshi*

Raishinshi: X_X Get offa me. You're heavy.

Nataku: *gets off quickly, a very slight shade of pink*

Raishinshi: *gets up and brushes himself off, blushing ever-so slightly* So...

*awkward silence*

Raishinshi: Let's get out of here.

Nataku: *nods*

*step trip SPLAT*

Raishinshi: >_<

Nataku: X_X

Hiko: Hmmmmm.........*looks around* Dang, they did a lot of work on this hunk of stone.

Shinkouhyou: It's quite interesting, don't you think?

Hiko: *looks at Shinkouhyou suspiciously* I don't like you. Shut up.

Shinkouhyou: *raises eyebrow* What have I done wrong?

Hiko: Don't know, don't really care. Shut up.

Shinkouhyou: *looks around* They really did do a beautiful job with the vine work.

Hiko: Are you just gonna ogle the scenery all day or are you going to help me out?

Shinkouhyou: *not looking away from the vinework* That way. *points*

Hiko: *still suspicious* *sets off, grabbing Shinkouhyou by the collar*

Shinkouhyou: *obediently walks with Hiko, still admiring the pretty vines*

***other side of the maze***

Tenka: *brandishing Sword of Bakuya* Back, evil fiend! Get away!

Fugen: *giggles* But Tenka, it's so cute!

Mini-Sphinx: *high-pitched voice* Yeah! Listen to the little one!

*off-screen, there is the sound of someone facefaulting*

Fugen: *blushes* Again with the little one....am I really that small? I’m bigger than Doukou, but….

Mini-Sphinx: *very self-importantly, which sounds very silly with its high-pitched voice* And now you hafta answer my riddle! It's a really hard riddle. I made it up myself! *nods*

Tenka: Yeah, whatever.

Mini-Sphinx: And no guessing, now. *cheerfully* If you get your answer wrong, I have to kill you! Doesn't that sound fun?

Fugen: K-k-kill us?

Mini-Sphinx: Nah, just kidding, kid. But I will have to send you back to the beginning of the maze. Saa...my riddle is....

*drumroll*

Mini-Sphinx: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie-Roll Pop?

Tenka: AAGH! *facefaults, pulling Fugen down with him*

Fugen: *sits up* Wait.....I've heard this one before! I know it! I know it! Agh! *whacking self in the head* Think, Fugen! Think!

Tenka: >_>

Fugen: Oh, stop it, Tenka! It's...um...it's....oooohhh......come on, brain! You can do it......oooooooh....

Tenka: ...o_O;;

Mini-Sphinx: *cheering* Go, Fugen! You can remember! Come on!

Fugen: Stop it! I can't concentrate! Come on....think.....it was.....oh, where did I see it.......it was...........ooooohhhhhh........

Tenka: ..zzzz...

Fugen: .....um...there was a kid....it asked the owl....the owl said............oooohhhhh....come on.......come ooonnnn.......

Tenka: *falls over backwards*

Fugen: *very suddenly* THREE!

Mini-Sphinx: YAY! You got it right! You get to go past! Hooray for Fugen! Hip-hip-HOORAY! Hip-hip-HOORAY! Hip-hip-HOORAY! *throws confetti*

Fugen: *scratches back of head bashfully* It was nothin'!

Tenka: >_>

Fugen: Saa, Ikoo? ^_^

Tenka: *mumbling* All that for three? *they set off again*

***(meanwhile...)***

Tai-Itsu: I think we should go THIS way!

Taikoubou: No, we simply MUST go this way!

Tai-Itsu: Bou, the peach tree happening to be that way isn't grounds to go.

Taikoubou: *eyes dart nervously* Who says I'm going there for the peach tree?

Tai-Itsu: >_> I do.

Taikoubou: Well, who cares what YOU think? *sticks his tongue out*

Tai-Itsu: Genshitenson-sama does.

Taikoubou: Well, who cares what HE thinks?

Voice from the Heavens: I DO! *bolt of lightning comes down and hits Taikoubou*

Taikoubou: x_X *twitch* *twitch* Let's go that way, then... *points*

***(meanwhile, back at the ranch)***

Hong: *very suddenly clasps onto Xiao* Did you hear that?

Xiao: *yawns* Hear what, Hong?

Hong: Something went KABLAM! and giggled!

Xiao: It's probably just the Hostesses. C'mon, let's go.

Hong: Oh. Ok.....

(They wander along, and suddenly a big brown furry creature with big horns and sharp teeth comes crashing out from behind a random bush, roaring furiously)

Hong: AAAAH! *stumbles back, pulling Xiao with him*

Xiao: EEEP! *grabs Hong*

Creature: *sees the princes* *big gruff voice, but somehow cute and friendly* Me scare you? Me sowwy.

Xiao: o_O;;

Hong: Aww...that's okay, big brown furry creature-person! I forgive you. *hugs the creature, while Xiao is dragged along by the foot*

Creature: Me Bob.

Hong: ^_^ Nice to meet you, Bob! I'm Hong and this is my big brother Xiao. Say hi, big brother!

Xiao: *dazed* Hi big brother.

Hong: Big brother is such a joker! Hee hee! ^_^ Well, it was nice meeting you, Bob! Must be going now.

Bob: You trying get through maze?

Hong: Yes we is.

Bob: Me know maze. Me show you the way?

Hong: Okay! Thank you Bob! *hugs Bob* ^_^

Xiao: x_X Oh, dear...

Hong: Let's go, big brother! Lead the way, Bob! ^_^

***(Do I really need to keep typing this???)***

Hakuyuko: *looks around* Damnit, they all look the same!

Dakki: I think we should go this way, Hakky-chan! *cuddles*

Hakuyuko: *scared* Okay, whatever you say M'lady.

Dakki: ^_^ Good boy! *pats him on the head*

Hakuyuko: o_o

*suddenly Dakki gets squirted in the back with water*

Dakki: *whirls around furiously, making Hakuyuko fall down*

Jordi: *whistling innocently, twirling a water pistol, as the platform slowly floats away*

Damien: I think someone's jealous.

Jordi: *squirts him in the head* Hee hee! ^_^

Damien: Hey! *grabs another water pistol and starts squirting her*

Dakki: o_O

Rowan: Hey! That looks like fun! *squirts Sage with a water pistol*

Sage: Oh yeah? *bursts a water balloon over Rowan's head*

Rowan: This means war! *tackles Sage*

Sage and Rowan: *wrestle for a while, then notice Hiko and Shinkouhyou*

Sage: Hey now! Whaddya say we bring out the heavy artillery?

Rowan: *evil grin* Let's. ^_^

Sage: *grabs two bags of some sort and gives one to Rowan* Ready?

Rowan: Ready! ^_^

Sage: Hey Hiko!!!! Over here!

Hiko: Eh? *looks up*

Sage and Rowan: *start throwing Oreos at Hiko*

Hiko: O_O EEEE!! *starts running for his life, dragging Shinkouhyou behind him*

Shinkouhyou: *grabs an Oreo and eats it* Mmm. These are sweet. *grabs another one*

Hiko: GET THEM AWAY FROM MEEE~EEE!!!

***(...make up your own darn location!)***

Yami Sage: *rolls eyes* A wood chuck would chuck all it could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

Pocket Dragon: *claps hands enthusiastically* Very good, Yami Sage! You get a gold star! *sticks one on her forehead* Now you may go on your merry way!

Kijin: Can I get a gold star?

Pocket Dragon: Sure! Heck, gold stars for everyone! *sticks a gold star on Kijin, the tree, the wall, and itself*

Yami Sage: *rolls eyes and walks on, Kijin in tow*

***(go awaaaaay!)***

Tai-Itsu: *cocks head* Well, well, well. What are you?

Kitty Hawk: I'm a kitty hawk! Nice to meet you! ^_^ I'd shake your hand, but, well, it wouldn't work.

Taikoubou: Aww, isho cyute...*reaches down to pet it*

Kitty Hawk: *bites his hand* RARR!

Taikoubou: o_O;; Ow! You little-

Kitty Hawk: And now I hafta ask you a question! What is the square root of pi?

Taikoubou: But pies aren't square!

Tai-Itsu: Oh brother....*rubs temples*

Taikoubou: And they don't have roots, either.

Tai-Itsu: *rolls his eyes* The square root of pi can't be recorded. Pi is an irrational number. That's a trick question.

Kitty Hawk: I have no clue what you mean, but I think you're right! Congratulations! You get to go on through! ^_^

Tai-Itsu: ^_^ Hey, I didn't become creator of all Paopei 'cause I'm pretty! Well, actually....

Taikoubou: *quickly* Shall we?

***(I hate you.)***

Youzen: I hate you too.

Bunchu: I hate you more.

Youzen: I doubt that.

Bunchu: Shut up.

Yami Sage: *off-camera* Did not!

Kijin: *off-camera* Did too!

Yami Sage: Did not!

Kijin: Did too!

Yami Sage: Did not!

Kijin: Did too!

Yami Sage: Uh....what were we arguing about?

Kijin: I don't remember.

Yami Sage: Me neither. Did not!

Kijin: Did too!

Youzen: *sigh* Oh, dear... *runs smack into Kijin* @_@ Hello.

Kijin: @_@ Sorry about that.

Bunchu and Yami Sage: *point and scream* It's you!

Youzen: Oh, dear...see you around! *waves, dragging Bunchu off*

Kijin: *waves back, dragging Yami Sage* Later!

Yami Sage: Yeah, that's right! You'd better run away! After what you did to me last time, you'll be sorry you ever touched the lips of Yami Sage Saria!

Kijin: *raises an eyebrow* I'm not going to ask. *pause* Okay. What?

Yami Sage: HE KISSED ME! The little fucker kissed me!

Kijin: That's it?

Yami Sage: Apart from the little unwanted intercourse we almost had, yeah!

Kijin: *laughs* My condolences. Now, get up and walk or I'll be forced to kill you.

Yami Sage: *rolls eyes* Yessir. Geez, you're starting to sound like me.

Kijin: You noticed that too.

***(I like pie.)***

Bob: Ummmm......we come from snake pit......here the big Jigglypuff statue.......ummm.....which way we go? Hmmmm........

Hong: *points* Me think we go that way!

Xiao: I think Hong should talk like a person!

Hong: Me do!

Xiao: *rolls eyes and follows Hong and Bob*

Bob: Oh! Here the Yu-Gi-Oh pagoda. Me know where are now! We go this way.

***(NO! Can't make me! Shut up!)***

Raishinshi: Grrrrr......how the hell am I supposed to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-roll pop?!?

Mini-Sphinx: Fugen did! Fugen's smart!

Raishinshi: FUGEN'S one of the JUUNISEN! I'm just the underling here!

Nataku: *bored* You do realize you just insulted yourself.

Raishinshi: Shut up, you. Um...I'm gonna guess-

Nataku: *covers Raishinshi's mouth* No you're not. I'm not going back to the entrance.

Raishinshi: Mrflmemflfm!

Nataku: *deadpan* What was that? Can't understand you.

Raishinshi: MMFFLRMFMFMIMMFLFM! >_<* *punches Nataku in the face*

Nataku: *lets go*

Raishinshi: I said get your fuckin' hands off me! *turns back to the Mini-Sphinx* Now- HEY! *whirls furiously* What gives?!?

Nataku: *clueless*

Raishinshi: You threw a rock at my head!

Rowan: *giggles from atop the platform*

Nataku: I didn't.

Raishinshi: Yes you DID, you little- you- THAT'S IT! I've had e-fuckin'-nough! I'm bustin' loose! *starts running at ungodly fast speed, Nataku dragging in the dirt, somehow managing to smash through the marble walls like they were nothing*

Rowan and Sage: *chanting* Right through the wall...right through the wall...right through the wall...

Mini Sphinx: Wait! What about the riddle? Man....*pouts*

Raishinshi: URRA URRA URRA URRA URRA URRA URRA URRA URRA!!!!!!!!! *smash smash smash*

Nataku: *to himself* Impressive.

Rowan: Looks like he's gonna make it. Better head to the exit.

Sage: Let's go, platform-san! *platform floats toward the exit*

Damien: Holy shit look at that guy go.

Jordi: It’s like that time when you had all that soda and coffee and then ran across the high school track making lawnmower noises.

Damien: *snort* That was fun.

Everyone Raishinshi happens to pass: o_O WTF???

Raishinshi: *breaks through the last wall and is out of the maze* *Wheeze wheeze wheeze* *looks up* ...Huh?

(Confetti rains down. The hosts are all gathered around, waving little Raishinshi flags and blowing noisemakers)

Sage: And the winners are....THE WHITE TEAM!!!!! *holds up Raishinshi's and Nataku's hands*

Raishinshi: Oh yeah! I rock! Oh yeah! Uh huh! *continues in this miem*

Nataku: *emotionlessly* Yay. *reaches down to untie their legs*

Sage: See? All it took was the power of love!

Raishinshi: *smacks Sage upside the head as he continues with his rap-thing*

Nataku: *looks like he wants to strangle Sage with the scarf*

Sage: *rubs head and looks at Nataku* Oh no you don't! Remember what we said about abusing the hostesses? *holds up the infamous picture* ^_~

Nataku: It's not abuse. It's payback. *tackles her. They disappear into a cloud of dust*

Raishinshi: Oh yeah! Uh huh! Go Nataku! You da bomb!

Sage: *choking through Nataku's strangle hold* *points at Raishinshi* See?

Raishinshi: Eh- *stops dead* *shrug* Whateva! *continues with his rap-thing*

Nataku: *releases Sage and blushes*

Rowan: Geez, you people over react to the slightest thing! I woulda kept strangling her.

Sage: *whaps Rowan* You're supposed to be on my side!

Nataku: *says nothing, just gestures to the picture - which is now torn to shreds...waitaminnit...*

Raishinshi: *suddenly grins* *looks to Nataku* Shall we get her?

Nataku: Let's.

Sage: Did you think I was stupid enough to make only one copy? And did I just hear you two agree on something?

Raishinshi: Oh, enough already, for Pete's sake! We can cooperate without being hopelessly in love! *blushing as he says it*

Sage: Then what's that weird red on your face? Sunburn, I suppose?

Raishinshi: *sticks his head up and crosses his arms* Still winded from running. *turns away*

Sage: Oh no you don't, Rai-Rai-Boy! *glomp* You're blushing. I've seen it before.

Raishinshi: *evades the glomp and whacks her on the head*

Sage: Hey! *whacks him back. Much harder* THAT'S why you don't mess with us.

Raishinshi: *rubs his head* That all you got? You hit like a girl! Haha!

Rowan: Uh oh.....

Sage: I DO NOT HIT LIKE A GIRL!!!!!!!!!! *tackles Raishinshi and proceeds to beat him to a bloody pulp*

Nataku: *shows a hint of worry, but only for a second* *thinking to himself* It's not like Raishinshi can't sweep the floor with Sage any day....

*dust cloud clears to reveal Sage on top of Raishinshi, shaking him furiously*

Sage: DID THAT HURT, YA LITTLE PUNK? DID THAT HURT LIKE A GIRL HIT YA?

Raishinshi: *has a bloody nose* *mumbling* She fights like a fuckin' demon...

Sage: That's better. ^_^ *gets up* Now what have we learned?

Raishinshi: Next time I get in a fight with the Authoress, bring in Taikoubou and Nataku too.

Sage: *starts to crush Raishinshi's ribs with her foot* What have we learned?

Raishinshi: >_< Never.......never mess with the authoresses?

Sage: Good boy! ^_^ *lets him up*

Nataku: ....good thing I wasn't betting.

Sage: Now let's get everyone else outta there.

(Snaps and the maze disappears. Bunchu and Youzen are cat-fighting, Yami Sage is girl-talking with Kijin about the powers of light and dark, Hiko is hiding (or was, for that matter) muttering something about clowns and Oreos.)

Hong: Bob? Bob?? Where'd you go, Bob?

Sage: ...Oh! So you've met Bob the Wooky!

Hong: No, we met Bob, not Bob the Wooky. He was very nice. He helped us get out of the maze!

Sage: That Bob. Just wants to be friendly to everybody. He showed me the Jigglypuff statue ^_^

Xiao: *stumbles towards them and sits down* @_@ Me Yin Xiao. Me go through maze. Maze big. *faints*

Sage: o_O Oh, dear....

Fugen: Shoot! I was so close to figuring it out, too!

Tenka: *ready to tear his hair out*

***later***

Rowan: *looks up* Hey, Sage...d'you know where Raishinshi is?

Sage: *reading* Nope. Now stop bothering me, Ford's turning into a penguin.

Rowan: *sweatdrop*

Jordi: *at a random computer* I think he's upstairs. I dunno.

Rowan: Okay...I just wanted to see if he needed help with his cuts and bruises and stuff, y'know. Some of those looked nasty.

Sage: *grins sheepishly* Maybe I was a little too rough on him.

Rowan: *goes upstairs* *goes into her dorm* ...*stops dead*

Nataku: *looks up unconcernedly* Yes? *puts another Band-Aid on Raishinshi*

Raishinshi: *blushes* Whaddya want?

Rowan: Um...er...ah...here's something for those bruises. *hands them it and goes back out*

Sage: So how's he doin'?

Rowan: *smiles* Just fine...

******Post-Experiment Thoughts********

Sage: I feel kinda bad now......but one way or another I have to bring those two together!

Fugen: Darn it, now it's going to bug me all night! Let's see...."What is the purpose of man's existence?" Ugh! I almost had it before! I know the answer's not twelve...

Raishinshi: My head hurts...running into marble walls is bad for your health.

Nataku: No matter what Raishinshi says, I'm NOT getting involved with his next fight with the authoresses. I value my well-being. *tiny sweatdrop*

Yami Sage: Kijin's cool! She's dark, not evil! And that's hard to find.

Tenka: What is WITH that kid and his riddles?!? GAH!

Hong: I hope Bob's okay....

Xiao: Me go through big maze. Me tired. zzzzz...

Rowan: Muahaha! My plot is coming to fruition! Mwahahahahahahaha- *hackhack coughcough* Doctor says I shouldn't do that anymore. Oh well. Mwahahahahahahahahaha!

Tai-Itsu: *humming* I feel pretty...oh so pretty....

Taikoubou: Jeez, Genshitenson, gotta work on that temper...

Hakuyuko: Can't sleep, Dakki will get me....can't sleep, Dakki will get me...

Shinkouhyou: Mm, Oreos...

Hatsu: @_@ The world is bouncing...ow...

Mini-Sphinx: It's THREE, you FUCKER!

Pocket Dragon: And a gold star for you too! *sticks one on the Post-Experiment Thoughts banner*

Bob: Is ok. Me live in maze. Me used to it.

Inside jokes:

Jay: What? You mean you've never seen Kevin Smith's movies? Where have you been?!?!?!?!?!?! Well, anyway, Jay is one of the characters in Kevin Smith's Jay and Silent Bob movies (duh). He says fuck about every five seconds. Rowan thinks there should be another rating - J. Hey! I thought I made that up!

12: There's a scene in Neil Simon's "Fools" where the purpose of man's existence is said to be twelve. Fugen's riddle-thing is sort of a reference to that.

It's THREE, you FUCKER: Damien has this tape where a bunch of his friends were arguing over whether a bicycle was purple or blue. One of the guys shouted "It's BLUE, you FUCKER!" We just had to use it.

Japanese:

Saa, Ikoo: Ok, let's go.

And for those of you who don’t know, a kitty hawk is a cat with wings like a hawk. Worldcon was petitioning for the 2004 con to be in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, and they were selling little stuffed kitty hawks. And when it lost the petition, my mom bought be a t-shirt with a kitty hawk on it so that I’d have something.