The Pizza Show Experiment 2!

spoilers: TPSE part 1
characters: Most Anime cast, Xelloss from Slayers Next, Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
chapters: 7/7
retrieved from: Bunnyhat

Chapter Six

The Pizza Show Experiment! Part 2

Experiment #5

Friday Morning

(It is morning again, and stuff is happening. It's actually rather sedate for this group. No one's killing each other, no evil fluffage plots, everything's very peaceful and quiet. Or sorta peaceful and quiet.)

Rowan: *bursts into the room* IN YA RED TOUPEE! ...in ya red toupee! *instrumental sfx*

Everyone: WTF?

Rowan: *doing weird dance-type thing* Ya took ya mother to a Broadway play! It keeps her well out of danger! You're blowing bubbles in the matinee! Ya never looked any stranger!

Sage: *bursts into the room, knocking Rowan over, singing the Indiana Jones theme* Dun da da DUUUUN da daduuun!

Damien: *bursts in over both of them* Dun da dun DUUNNNNpleath!

Jordi: *sitting at the table* PIE IS GOD!

Cast: ...*is weirded out*

Yami Sage's voice from the kitchen: Come on! I'm dying here! I need BACON!!!

Raishinshi: Yeah fuckin' right, you're not about to die from bacon loss! Chill the fuck out!

Sage: >_< RAISHINSHI! There are little kids in here! Tone down the language!

Raishinshi: Tell her to get the fuck out of my kitchen and I will!

Sage: It's not YOUR kitchen! This is MY house!

Raishinshi: Well, I'm the one cooking, aren't I?

Sage: Just 'cause I'm nice and let you!

Raishinshi: Ha ha, de fuckin' ha!

Sage: RAISHINSHI ENOUGH WITH THE GODDAMN F-WORD!

Fugen: *sweatdrops*

Raishinshi: *grumbles* KIFUU!

Yami Sage: *blasts out of the kitchen and against the far wall* x_X I-te….

Raishinshi: ...oops. I think I ruined breakfast.

Sage: Aiyaa....*snaps Raishinshi's Paopei away* Serves you right.

*silence*

Jordi: Awkward silence, peoples!

Sage: Abraham Lincoln.

Rowan: Silence is golden?

Sage: Something like that.

Tenka: So what are we doing today, O Authoress?

Tai-Itsu: *snort*

Tenka: *glare* *whisper* No harm in sucking up!

Tai-Itsu: She's that bad, huh?

Tenka: Shoulda seen her...

Sage: AHEM!

Tai-Itsu and Tenka: *jump*

Sage: *whips out experiment schedule* Friday: Costume Contest!

Cast: *all eyes on her* NAAAANIIIIII??????

Rowan: No, costume contest! ^_^

Raishinshi: *peeks into the room* Why do you persist in making us embarrass ourselves?

Jordi: Because it's fun?

Sage: Relax, you get to pick the costumes.

Raishinshi: Why do I get the feeling there's some sort of trick involved?

Rowan: No trick! You get to choose your costume. No strings attached!

Sage: Here's how it works; pick a costume, put it on, and you perform in front of an audience of fifty randomly selected boys and fifty randomly selected girls! ^_^

*blank silence*

Jordi: SOMEONE react already!

Hong: Sounds like fun! ^_^

Fugen: *quietly* I get stage fright.....

Rowan: Well, in that case, Fugen, we're going to have to tape you to a cardboard stand and shove you on stage to help you get over it.

Fugen: o_O I'll just get on myself...

Rowan: You sure you won't need any help?

Fugen: *blushes furiously* Hai.

Sage: *put an arm around Fugen* Dun worry, chiisa, you'll do just fine.

Fugen: .......

Rowan: *finishes eating* Are we all ready?

Damien: Maybe.

Rowan: *to cast* Are we all ready?

Cast: NO!

Sage: Too bad! WE GO! *snap*

*Suddenly, everyone is in a small room. There are three doors. One of them reads "Shounen," one reads "Shoujo," the last one reads "Stage Entrance"*

Rowan: We rented this warehouse especially for this contest!

Sage: Boys into the Shounen room, girls to the Shoujo room. The costumes are set up, so get in, pick and change.

Jordi: If you need makeup, talk to me! ^_^

Sage: *whispers* She'll probably do so anyway.

Rowan: We'll be...setting up the stage. ^^

Cast: *scuttles into appropriate rooms*

Host/esses: *walk onto the stage*

Sage: *snaps and there are microphones and chairs set up*

Jordi: *snaps lights onto rafters*

Rowan: *snaps judge's table and barbed wire between it and the audience*

Damien: *snaps a disco ball*

Hostesses: ...*look at him*

Damien: Oh, fine...*snaps it away*

Rowan: Okay then! ^^

Host/esses: *go into a secret room*

Hostesses: *listening to bugs from the Shounen room*

Damien: *listening in on the Shoujo room*

Voice through the bug: NO FUCKIN' WAY!

Voice #2: But the tutu looks so good on you, Raishinshi!

Voice #1: Shut up now, Hatsu, or I kill you!

Sage: *on PA* No death in this fic!

Voice #1: o_O Oh, shit!

Sage: *on PA* And watch the language in front of Yin Hong!

Voice #1: She scares me...

Voice #3: O_O Bou-chan, what in the world?!?!

Voice #4: Are you really going on stage in that???

Voice #5: Well, if I'm gonna make an ass of myself, I might as well make an ass of myself in style!

Voice #6: Good point....whaddya think of this outfit, Oyaji?

Voice #7: It...certainly suits you, Tenka. o.O;

Sage: *giggling, eyes wide* Oh, I can't wait to see!

Jordi: *snaps vid-portal into the Shounen room out of curiosity* OMIGOD! *snaps herself in there*

Voice #6: What the--WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!?!?

Jordi's Voice: MAKEUP! ^__^ That costume must have makeup!

Sage: *on PA* Jordi, what are you doing?!

Jordi's Voice: Making him Gothic, of course! ^__^

Sage: *on PA* ....You're describing his costume to me when you get back here, ya hear?!

Jordi's voice: Sumimasen, demo...*puts on a Xelloss voice* Sore wa himitsu desu!

Rowan: Sou desu, Ane, himitsu desu hazu.

Sage: *pouts*

Voice #3: Anou......how about this one?

Jordi's Voice: Omigod, that'll look so cute on you Fugen! Well, not that you need it, but ya know! ^_^

Sage: *on PA* Jordi, get back here right now!

Voice #6: Yes, please!

Jordi: Oh, fine! *snap* *appears in secret room*

Voice #7: Bunchu...are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Voice #8: That this is stupid?

Voice #7: Well, yes, but about the costumes.

Voice #8: What were you thinking?

Voice #7: *whisperwhisperwhisper*

Voice #8: Are you crazy?

Voice #7: So I've been told. But it will look way cool.

Voice #8: Tenka is rubbing off on you.

Voice #9: Hmm....this one is...interesting.

Rowan: *snickers* Something tells me Shinkouhyou has found his outfit.

Damien: *eyes glazed over* Something tells me I'm going to like Dakki's outfit...

Voice #1: Hmm....yea~heah! Awesome! I'll take this one!

Voice #2: Umm, I don't know, Toutouchan. It looks a little big.

Voice #1: It'll fit me just fine!

Voice: #2: Whatever. *rummagerummagerummage* Hey, look at this, toutou! I know what I'm wearing!

Voice #1: Aw, HELL no, Ani!

Sage: *over PA* *warningly* Raishinshi....

Voice #1: I don't give a crap, you are NOT wearing that! How the hell is that even in here, anyway?

Voice #6: We never even see them wearing this stuff. Where do you suppose they got it all?

Voice #7: Do you really want to find out?

Voice #6: Good point.

Rowan: *on PA* We just used Authoress Powers, Tenka. No biggie. They'll go right back where they came from when we're done.

Voice #6: o.O; That's really freaky, how they can hear what we say.

Rowan: *on PA* Isn't it, now? ^_^

Sage: *quickly* *On PA* Five minutes to curtain, minna-san!

Jordi: *in the auditorium* *starts ushering audience in*

Random Fangirl #1: Hey, what's with all this barbed wire?

Random Fangirl #2: It's the coatrack, like, duh.

Jordi: ...actually, it's to prevent any...um...stage-rushing.

Random Fangirl #2: *clueless* Stage-rushing?

Jordi: Never mind. Just sit down.

*backstage. All the cast is behind a curtain, in shadow so we can't see the costumes*

Tai-Itsu: *peeks out from behind the curtain* Wow! It's a full house out there!

Fugen: I really have to go out there? In front of all those people?

Taikoubou: Daijoubu, Fugen! You look great! It'll be fine!

Sage: *squints through shadows, but just sees wings*

Rowan: No peeking, Ane! Now, get out there and start the show!

Fugen: *squeaks* We're starting?

Raishinshi: Ow! You hit me in the face!

Fugen: Ah! Gomen!

Jordi: Shh! We're starting! And remember, come in this side, exit stage left.

Sage: *goes out onto the stage* *spotlight comes on, revealing Sage in a green flapper dress, along with a green feather boa, green beads strung together jazz-style, and a silver sequin headband* Hello, and welcome to the Very First Non-Annual Pizza Show Costume Contest!

Audience: *goes wild*

Random Fangirl: WE LOVE YOU, FUGEN!

Fugen: *shrinks back into the curtains*

Other Random Fangirl: NATAKU ROCK DA HOUSE DA NE!

Sage: First, let's introduce our judges for tonight! First, there's myself, of course.

Audience: *screams and applauds*

Random audience member: YEAH SAGE!!!

Other random audience member: WE LOVE YOU SAGE!!! PIZZA SHOW ROX!!!

Sage: Next, we have a guest tonight - my good friend Orenda!

Orenda: *walks onstage in neko-girl costume* Konban wa, minna! It's so cool to be here tonight, and I am so looking forward to seeing all the bishie costumes up close and personal! ^__^ *cheesy grin*

Audience: *applauds* *some scattered meows*

Sage: Next there's Rowan, as you all know! She's also our designated photographer tonight!

Rowan: *walks on dressed as Isis*

Audience: *goes wild*

Random audience member: RIIIIIINI-CHAAAAAAAN!

Rowan: Hi everyone! I hereby predict that in exactly five minutes it will be *checks watch* seven-thirty.

Audience: *laughs and applauds*

Rowan: And that we'll have some uber-cool bish-o-pics to show around tomorrow! ^__^

Fangirls in audience: *scream*

Random fangirl: YEAH FUGEN!

Other random fangirl: TAI-ITSU SHINJIN! GET YOUR ASS ONSTAGE!

Tai-Itsu: *grins, flattered*

Sage: Next, we have my twin...sister and my darker half, Yami Sage!

Yami Sage: *strolls in, completely Goth* Whaddup, yo?

Audience: *applauds*

Random Gothic fanboy: I LOVE YOU, YAMI!!!

Yami Sage: *grins cheekily* I know ya do, Hon!

Sage: *sweatdrops* Next, our only male judge this evening, who I'm sure you all will love, Damien!

Damien: *runs on air-guitaring* *dressed as Kyo from Fruits Basket* *grabs mike* WHAZZZZZUUUUP!!

Audience: *goes totally insane*

Several fanboys and fangirls: GO NEO!!! YEAH!! WHOOOOO!!!!

Damien: How y'all doing tonight! I'll tell you fanboys out there a secret - you're gonna like Dakki's costume. *evil grin*

Fanboys: *hoots and catcalls*

Sage: And our last (but certainly not least) judge for tonight, also our make-up artist for the costumes, Jordi!

Jordi: *bounces onstage, dressed as blue-themed demon*

Audience: *cheers*

Jordi: Thank you, thank you very much! *snuggles Damien*

Fangirls: *scream*

Random fangirl: LUCKY BITCH!!

Jordi: *sticks tongue out* ^__^

Sage: Now, remember, everyone, keep your hands to yourself, stay in your seat, and be ready to cheer. Everyone will be judged by costume quality, performance, and audience reaction!

Rowan: So let's rock 'n roll! ^_^

Judges: *sit down*

Sage: *being MC-ish* First, we have the one and only.....Yin Xiao!

Yin Xiao: *struts out and stands in the center of the stage*

Rowan: As you can see, he's dressed in the infamous Domino High School uniform we all know and love!

Half the audience: What's Domino High School?

Rowan: *sweatdrops* I dunno, I'm just reading the cards! But isn't he cute? *takes pictures*

Fangirls: SQUEEEEE!!!! KAWAII!

Sage: Thank you, Yin Xiao.

Xiao: *bows and walks offstage*

Sage: Next, it's Raishinshi!

*silence*

Sage: Uh, Raishinshi?

Ginormous thing: *is pushed out from behind the curtain by someone random*

Rowan: *peering* Raishinshi? That you?

Ginormous thing: Yes- I can't move- *gets upright, revealed to be a large Chinese dragon*

Audience: *laughing hysterically*

Random Fangirl: YOU ROCK, RAISHINSHI!

Dragon: *grins* Booya! Am I cool or- WHAAA! *falls over*

Audience: *laughs harder*

Random stage crew: *drags Raishinshi off the stage*

Sage: *wiping tears away from laughing so hard* Okay, now next is...*pulls out of a hat* Kou Tenka! *squee*

*lights suddenly dim*

Audience: *mutters of concern*

*An electric guitar plays a chord loudly. Lights swing back and forth in different colors*

Tenka: *jumps onto the stage* UH-HUH! OH YEAH! *dressed in ripped, tight leather, with a trenchcoat instead of his vest and a fake tattoo across his chest, and lots of Goth-type makeup on* *starts playing "Wild Drive" on a pretty red electric guitar*

Half of the fangirls: *start screaming as if at a Backstreet Boys concert*

Rowan: *floating around the stage, snapping pictures like mad*

Sage: KYAAAAAH!!!!! *leaning over the table* *heart eyes*

Yami Sage: OH MY RA!!!!!!!! *screams* ^_^

Fanboys: YEAH TENKA! KICK ASS! ROCK ON!! WHOOOOO! *lighters start swaying*

Fangirls: TAKE ME HOME TENKA-SAMAAA! I WANT YOUR BABY TENKA-SAMA!!

Half the fangirls: *faint*

Tenka: *moonwalks off the stage*

Fangirls: *still screaming*

Sage: *screaming along on the mike* TENKA! YOU'D BETTER BE WEARING THAT TONIGHT!

Fangirls: *start screaming at Sage*

Sage: *sweatdrop* MOVING ON! Next, we've got Dakki!

Fanboys: *start screaming*

*lights dim, music starts playing*

Dakki: *struts on stage seductively, dressed in skintight leather, twirling a whip*

Fanboys: *on their feet* TAKE IT OFF! DO IT, BITCH!

Dakki: *smiles flirtatiously*

Damien: *heart eyes* *drool*

Jordi: *annoyed look, but she doesn't say anything*

Rowan: *taking pictures* *on the mike* Prints will be selling tomorrow for $25 each! ^___^

Random Fanboy: HELL NO, BITCH! SHE AIN'T WORTH THAT!

Dakki: *pouts* Oh?

Random Fanboy: O_O 25 IT IS!

Dakki: *smirks, strutting off stage*

Sage: What a display by Dakki. Thank you. Next, we have the angelic Senin you've all been waiting for....Fugen!

Fugen: *freezes*

*silence*

Sage: Fugen? Come on out, sweetie!

Fangirls: COME ON, FUGEN! WE LOVE YOU!

*silence*

Sage: Aww....poor Fugen seems to be getting cold feet.

Fangirls: Awwwwwww........

Sage: Let's give him a round of applause! Come on Fugen! *starts clapping*

Fugen: *getting progressively redder*

Nataku: *pushes him out the curtain*

Fugen: *stumbles out, blushing* *hesitantly steps center stage and faces the audience, smiling sheepishly*

Fangirls: *shrieking* EEEEEEE!!!!

Sage: KAWAII!!!!!!!!!! *squeals* *heart eyes*

Rowan: KAWAII DESU NE! *_* *taking pictures*

Fugen: *is dressed as Change of Heart. Basically, a whitish nightgown with wings(one angel wing and one demon wing), one half dark and the other light.*

Rowan: Prints tomorrow for $30!

Fangirls: *protest*

Fugen: *turns redder, squeaks and scurries off stage left*

Sage: *MC-ish* Okay girls, get all the bish out of your system before the next one! Come on, squeal!

Fangirls: EEEEEE!!!

Sage: LOUDER!

Fangirls: KAWAIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! WE LOVE YOU FUGEN!

Sage: That's better. ^^ Next up...Kibi! Come on out, girl!

Kibi: *bounces out in a classic golfer outfit* Doesn't Kibi look CUTE! ^__^

Sage: Cute!

Fanboys: *wolf whistles*

Kibi: *giggles* Does Kibi look as cute as Dakki?

Fanboys: HELL NO!

Kibi: *pouts* Meanie!

Sage: You look fine, Kibi, thank you. Up next--thank you Kibi, you can go now.

Kibi: Okay! ^_^ *bounces offstage*

Sage: Up next......Taikoubou.

Taikoubou: *comes out, dressed as the Playboy bunny; he still has his "bunny ears" on, but he is now wearing a black velvet body suit with a cotton tail and water balloons stuffed in the "cups," a bow tie, fishnet stockings and black high-heeled shoes.* *twirls in the spotlight*

Audience: ....*silence* *burst into laughter*

Taikoubou: *poses, grinning cheesily*

Fangirls: YEAH, BOU-CHAN!! *scream*

Rowan: *taking pictures* Blackmail prints for $25!!

Fangirls: *protest*

Sage: *laughing* Thank you, Taikoubou.

Taikoubou: *winks and struts pseudo-seductively offstage*

Sage: Next we have.....Nataku! Get out here, flower-boy!

Nataku: *walks out because we snapped his Fuukarin away yesterday, dressed as Pharaoh Yami from Yu-Gi-Oh. Basically a Pharaoh outfit - shirtless, with jewelry and stuff and a not-skirt-like thing around his middle.*

Fangirls: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Fanboys: AWESOME! *Crush voice from Finding Nemo* YOU SO TOTALLY ROCK!!!

Rowan: Rock on, Nataku! *taking pictures* Prints for $35!! ^__^ Support the Pizza Show!

Fangirls: C'MON, NATAKU! SHOW US SOME MUSCLE!!

Nataku: *looks at them blankly and unenthusiastically flexes arm and chest muscles*

Fangirls: *scream*

Several fangirls: *faint*

Sage: Is that boy built, or is that boy built? Let's give him an uber-ginormous round of applause!

Audience: *on their feet, clapping and hooting hysterically*

Nataku: *walks offstage*

Fangirls: *still screaming*

Sage: *heart eyes still* *_* Sugoooiii.....

Rowan: Sasuga desu ne! *floats after him, but goes back at the last minute*

Sage: Ahem.....next, we've got Ki Hatsu-san!

Hatsu: *leaps enthusiastically onto the stage, dressed in white pants, no shirt, gray claws on his hands and feet, and his hair spiked upward, with black bat wings* URRRRAA! *Yeah, he's Raishinshi.*

Raishinshi: *offstage* ANI! Stop stealing my schtick!

Taikoubou: *whispered harshly* Shut up!

Fangirls: *laugh and cheer*

Hatsu: *spins around, flapping out wings* HATSURAI!!!!

*lightning bolt strikes the judge's table*

Jordi: @_@ DISQUALIFIED!

Hatsu: o_o Oops...

Sage: @_@ I'm sorry, Hatsu, but I do believe you must be disqualified.

Hatsu: But it was an accident! I didn't mean- ACK! *gets dragged off by stage crew*

Sage: How’d he get a hold of those anyway?

Rowan: How could he even use them??

Random Fangirl: HEY!! BRING HATSU BACK SO HE CAN GET SAGE AGAIN!

Sage: *sweatdrop* You guys are still riled up about Tenka, aren't you?

Fangirl: HELL YEAH!

Sage: Well, too bad! ^_^ Our next costume is.....Youzen!!

Youzen: *dashes onto the stage and does a flip into the air, coming down into a posey-pose. His hair is much lighter than usual, and he is wearing a tight red and black, slightly metallic, slightly leather suit. In other words; the protagonist of Twin Signal; Signal*

Sage: *screams* SIGUNARU-SAMAA!

Fangirls: *join her in screaming*

Random fangirl: YEAH YOUZI-CHAN!!!

Youzen: O_O No! Not again!

Rowan: *stops taking pictures and sneezes* *Looks up at Youzen; nothing's happened* *pouts*

Youzen: *flips and twirls offstage*

Sage: Okay! Now was that cool or what?

Random fanboy: WHAT!!

Sage: *sweatdrop* Okay, then...next up is Tai-Itsu Shinjin!

Fangirl: *scream* TAAII-IITSUU!

Random Fangirl: GET YOUR SEXY ASS ON STAGE!

Fanboys: *sweatdrop*

Tai-Itsu: *walks calmly onstage, dressed as Xelloss from Slayers - a spellcaster outfit; purplish cape, weird-looking pants, lots of jewelry, you know the schtick. And his hair's dyed purple* n_n *into the mike* Sore wa himitsu desu!

Fangirls: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sage: Wait! That's not Tai-Itsu Shinjin, that's Xelloss!

Rowan: And the Mearl-channeling continues! *snaps pictures*

Tai-Itsu: n_n *look at the camera*

Fangirls: WHOOOOO!! GO, TAI-ITSU! OR XELLOSS! WHOEVER YOU ARE!!

Tai-Itsu: n_n *walks offstage* *giggles mentally at getting so much attention*

Sage: Whoo! Next up, Shinkouhyou! This will be interesting! ^_^

Audience: *hoot*

Shinkouhyou: *comes out in a tacky and tasteless three-piece business suit, complete with briefcase* n_n

Audience: *blink* *scattered laughter*

Damien: No, we don't want any vinyl siding! *rimshot*

Audience: *laugh*

Random guy: GO DAMIEN!

Shinkouhyou: *looks at him*

Jordi: Tasteless! Get off the stage!

Shinkouhyou: *gets that angry blood vessel thingie* Nani?!? *raises Raikouben*

Sage: *snaps Raikouben away* Aiyaa...all this Paopei confiscated in one week....

Rowan: Too bad we don't get to keep them! *snapping pictures*

Sage: *grins* Yeah. Anyway, thank you Shinkouhyou.

Shinkouhyou: *walks off, muttering*

Sage: Up next, the adorable Prince Yin Hong!

Hong: *shuffles onstage, wearing adorable footie teddy bear PJs, cuddling Becky*

Fangirls: KYAAAA! *go into fangirl catatonia*

Fanboys: *stare blankly

Judges: KAWAAAIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!! *heart eyes*

Damien: She’s so cute!

Jordi: …that’s a GUY, Damien! *hits him*

Damien: …I knew that.

Sage: *under breath* Hen na shounen yo. *out loud* Great job, Yin Hong-sama and Becky-chan!

Hong: *beam*

Becky: ^___^

Everyone: Awwww… *___*

Hong: *walks offstage*

Sage: And next up, Haku!

Haku (from Spirited Away): *appears* *looks really confused*

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

Fangirls: EEEE! CYUUUTE!

Haku: *looks scared*

Sage: Er, I mean, Hakuyuko! Gomen ne Haku-chan! ^^;;

Fangirls: NO! Don’t go, Haku-sama!!

Haku: *disappears rapidly*

Fangirls: Awwwwww….*pout*

Sage: ANYway, Hakuyuko, you’re next! Come on out!

Hakuyuko: *strides out carrying big metal briefcase, with awesome-looking white trenchcoat and weird-looking pants – Kaiba’s Battle City outfit!*

Rowan: OMIGOD! *goes crazy snapping pictures*

Sage: >_>

Half of fangirls: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Jordi: He’s so CYUTE!!!!

Sage: >_> He’s Kaiba…..

Rowan: He ain’t cute, he’s goddam hot! *shutter-mad*

Sage: >_> Yeah, a goddam hot asshole….

Rowan: *death glare* *grabs Hakuyuko/Kaiba’s briefcase and throws it at her*

Hakuyuko: Hey! That’s mine!

Sage: *throws it back at Rowan* ‘scuse ME for having an opinion!

Rowan: Have your opinion all you want, just don’t insult MY bishie in MY hearing!

Sage: Look who’s talking, Miss Rolls-Her-Eyes-When-I-Squeal-Over-Youzen!

Rowan: Oh yeah??!!

Orenda: BOTH OF YOU, SHUT THE [EXPLETIVE] UP!

Everyone: *turn and stare at her*

Orenda: Well, it’s unladylike to curse, you know.

Sage: Fuck femininity.

Orenda: *cheerfully* And screw you.

Jordi: Enough! Let’s get on with the show!

Sage: Whatever…..*sits down* It’s a great costume, Hakuyuko, thank you. *mutters* I still don’t like Kaiba….

Rowan: *mutter* If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Sage: Live what you teach, chica.

Rowan: <_<

Jordi: OKAY! Next up, Kijin!

Damien: *perks up*

(Wedding march starts playing)

Kijin: *slowly steps out, very shy and ladylike, in a wedding dress* ^__^ HIII EVERYONE!!

Sage: *_* Kirei………

Damien: Sou da na….

Audience: *various giggles and "Ooo!"s*

Kijin: *giggles and throws bouquet*

Sage: Ooh! Ooh! It’s mine! I got it!

Orenda: ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!

Jordi: *shoves Orenda aside* MINE! ^__^

Judges: *start acting like the seagulls in Finding Nemo* Mine! Mine! Mine!

Damien: MinePLEATH!

Sage: *reaching up to catch Bouquet* Neeeeeee….

Bouquet: *sticks on the barbed wire*

Kijin: Oops! ^_^

Judges: Awwwwwwww!!!!!! *pout*

Barbed wire: ^___^

Sage: *sits down* Thank you, Kijin-san.

Kijin: You’re welcome! *skips off*

Sage: And last, but certainly not least! *checks card* A double act! Kou Hiko and Bunchu!

Random Fangirl: I DIDN’T KNOW THIS WAS A YAOI CONTEST!!

Sage: *blinks* OW!!!! Bad brain! Bad brain! *whacks head on desk* Ow…

Rowan: *chortling* Bwaha!

*muffled "HEY!" from backstage*

Kou Hiko & Bunchu: *jump onstage, swords at the ready – STOP IT, YOU PERVERTS! – dressed in identical but different-colored Link costumes; Kou Hiko is Link, and Bunchu is Dark Link.*

Sage: *_* Sweeeeeet…..

Damien: Totalllyyy….

Rowan: ROCK ON! *snapping pictures*

Fangirls: Go Hiko! Go Bunchu! You da bomb! Uh-huh!

Fanboys: COME ON!!! I WANNA SEE SOME LIMBS FLYING, PEOPLE!!!

Bunchu: …*exercises the Great Bunchu Skill of glaring blankly*

Sage: Look, more Mearl channeling!

Jordi: Mearl has many channelers.

Orenda: That should be a sitcom or something, "The Many Channelers of Mearl."

*somewhere, someone is staring blankly at the screen.*

*somewhere else, the Fourth Wall starts whining and threatening assault charges.*

Sage: ROCK ON, CHICOS!!! WHOOO!!!!!

Hiko: *grins flashily*

Bunchu: *glares stormily*

Rowan: It’s the attack of the adverbs! ^__^ *gets pulled to court by the Fourth Wall*

Everyone: …….huh…?

Sage: Excuse me, can lawsuits PLEASE wait until after we finish this fic??? *gets pulled to court too*

Jordi: *sigh* *snaps them both back* Now, you ARE going to behave, right?

Sage: We weren’t?

Jordi: ….*whap*

Sage: OW!!! *bursts into tears* YOU HURT MEEEEE!!!!!!

Audience: *is staring blankly*

Yami Sage: *whaps Jordi* No hitting my Aibou!

Sage: *bubbly teary-eyes* Yami….you did something nice for me….

Yami Sage: Don’t get used to it.

Sage: >_< *whap*

Yami Sage: >_<* Anonee…

Jordi: ENOUGH! Can we get back to the show?

Rowan: But that was the last act….*looks at stage* And they’re already gone…

Jordi: >_< *grabs mike* Okay people! Now who wants prizes?

Audience: *jumps up* MEE!! ME!

Jordi: Well, ya ain’t getting’ any! ^_~ They’re going to the cast, who so nicely just got up and humiliated themselves for you! And you get to choose which goes to which!

Sage: Just remember, all our contestants, even though there are only three prizes, everyone’s a winner in my eyes *_*

Fangirls: *squeal agreement*

Fugen: *blush*

Rowan: Ok! In third place, we have………drum roll please……I SAID DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!!!

Orenda: *hands her an eggroll*

Rowan: *eats eggroll* Now DRUMroll, please!

Damien: *provides drumroll on his mike*

Rowan: Thank you. In third place…..Nataku as Pharaoh Yami! Get back here, boy!

Nataku: *walks stonily back on stage*

Fangirls: *hoot and squeal*

Sage: Drumroll please, D-kun!

Damien: *drumroll*

Sage: Our second place prize goes to……..Fugen Shinjin as Change of Heart!!!!

Fugen: *peeks out from behind the curtain*

Rowan: *drags him out*

Fangirls: *squeal*

Damien: *doing his own drumroll* And in first place….the one and only….the uber-cool…the weird and freakish…the…the…um…TENKA AS A GOTH PUNK ROCKER!!!

Fangirls: *scream*

Tenka: *moonwalks onstage, grinning cheekily* Yo! *Wild Drive plays faintly in the background* *winks at a random fangirl*

Fangirl: *faints*

Orenda: And now, our prizes! *cheesy shopping-channel music plays* Our third-place choices are…..brand-new uber-powerful Paopei!

Nataku: *eyes light up*

Tai-Itsu: *pops in* Made by yours truly! n_n *disappears*

Damien: *holds it up. It looks like a rubber chicken.*

Jordi: Ilparazzo’s World Conquest Kit!

Sage: *showing it off, beaming, much like Vanna White*

Rowan: Aaaand Raishinshi plushies!

Sage: *holds one up* Kawaii desu ne??? ^__________^

Damien: So what do you think he should get, girls?

Fangirls: PLUSHIES! GIVE HIM THE PLUSHIES!!!!

Nataku: *trying to disguise his voice* Paopei! Paopei!

Yami Sage: *slyly* I saw that.

Nataku: *looks at her weirdly* Yeah so?

Sage: PLUSHIES IT IS, THEN! ^__^ *throws them at Nataku* Here you go! Have fun!!! ^_______^

Raishinshi: *backstage* *sigh*

Orenda: Our second-place choices!

Sage: FuggiBou doujinshi! *opens the pages and shows it off*

Cast: O_O WTF??!!

Tenka: When was that, Fugen?

Fugen: *hides his face in his robes, bright red*

Damien: An inflatable platypus!

Hong: *back stage* What’s a pla---plata----platapis?

Dakki: *backstage* *shocked* Why Yin Hong, you said a bad word!

Hong: *tearing up* I did??? I’m sorry. *bows head*

Fugen: *looks dubiously at the platypus*

Jordi: Aaaaaaand……a Genshitenson plushie! ^__^ *shows it off*

Audience: *laugh*

Random Fangirl: YEAH! THE GENSHITENSON PLUSHIE!

Other Fangirl: NO, THE DOUJINSHI!

Sage: Ok, Guys an’ gals, it’s time for all of you to vote!

Random fanboy: THE PLATYPUS!!!

Other fanboy: GO PLATYPUS! ROCK ON, PLATYPUS!

Fangirls: *chanting* DOU-JIN-SHI! DOU-JIN-SHI!

Sage: Ok, this is gonna be close…..for the platypus, scream!

Three or four fen: *scream*

Sage: For the doujinshi, scream!

All fangirls: *scream loudly*

Sage: For Genshitenson, scream!

Few fangirls: *start to scream, then stop realizing what they’re screaming for*

One fangirl: *screaming as loud as she can* YEAH! THE GENSHITENSON PLUSHIE! YAAAHHH! IF HE DOESN’T WANT IT, GIVE IT TO ME!

*collective audience sweatdrop*

Sage: DOUJINSHI WINS!!! *hands Genshitenson to random stage crew member* Get that to the girl up there, will ya? Here you go, Fugen! *hands him the doujinshi*

Fugen: *turns redder*

Rowan: Have fun! ^_~

Random fangirl: *stands up* IF HE DOESN’T WANT THE PLATYPUS, CAN I HAVE IT?!

Sage: *squints to see who it is* Hi Corey! *waves* Here you go! *throws the platypus to her*

Corey: *catches it* YAY! THANK YOU!!

Yami Sage: AND OUR FIRST PLACE CHOICES!

Jordi: Hair gel! *holds it up, grinning*

Tenka: ….don’t need it! *grins cheekily*

Yami Sage: LINKIN PARK: HYBRID THEORY!!!!! *holds up CD, big grin on her face*

Several fanboys, including Damien: LINKIN PARK!!! GO FOR LINKIN PARK!!!

Yami Sage: *grins*

Rowan: OR a Lava Lamp! *waves it about excitedly*

Random fan: LAVA LAMP! LAVA LAMP!

Random other fan: PLATYPUS!

Rowan: And your votes are…….?

Half the audience: LINKIN PAAAARRRK! …..SHUT UP WHEN I’M TALKIN’ TO YOU!

Yami Sage: EVERYTHIN’ YOU SAY TO ME TAKES ME ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE!

Audience: AND I’M ABOUT TO BREAK!

Random fan: PLATYPUS! PLATYPUUUUSS!

Other fan: Enough with the goddamn platypus! ‘CAUSE I’M ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE EDGE AND I’M ABOUT TO BREAK!

Random fangirl: GIV’IM THE HAIR GEL! TENKA IN SPIKES, YAH!

Orenda: I think the Linkin Park CD wins! ^_^;

Yami Sage: YEAH! *high fives Tenka*

Rowan: And a free complementary CD player, since you probably don’t have one!

Tenka: *grins broadly*

Sage: OKAY! Well, everyone, that concludes the Very First Non-Annual Pizza Show Costume Contest! Join us upstairs for coffee and cookies and sparkle manicures, prints from the show will be available for order, and have a safe teleport home! *Mimiru-like* Baibai! ^__^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Post-Experiment Thoughts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sage: Kawaii……*_*

Yami Sage: SHUT UP WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!

Tenka: *jamming* EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO ME TAKES ME ONE STEP CLOSER…….

Nataku: *moodily dismembering the Raishinshi plushie*

Fugen: *shaking* My heart’s still beating so fast……I’ve never been so nervous in my life……*glances around* *peeks at the doujinshi under the covers*

Taikoubou: …TO THE EDGE! AND I’M ABOUT TO BREAK! …why’d I have to get that stuck in my head?

Raishinshi: Stupid Hatsu……and he stole my Paopei too!

Rowan: *cackling as she organizes the photos* Cackle cackle! Hahahaha!

Hong: *looks at viewers* Do you know what a Platapis is?

Becky: ^____^

Hakuyuko: I think they like this outfit. Maybe I should remember that…

Hatsu: Disqualified….HA! I’ll show THEM disqualified! *evil laugh*

Haku: ….that was really weird. And I know weird. o_O

Blast to the Past:

Youzi-chan: What I called Youzen all the time in the first TPSE.

Inside jokes:

That song Rowan was singing at the beginning: That song is called Red Toupee, and it’s by some British dude. I don’t remember his name. *sweatdrop* It’s a weird song. It scares me.

Abraham Lincoln: My friend Corey(yes, the one in the audience who got the platypus) tells me that in 4/5 awkward silences, somebody thinks about Abraham Lincoln.

Neo: Damien likes to flip off walls and stuff at his school. His classmates and teachers call him "Neo" because of this. Ya know, like in The Matrix.

Haku: This guy really does know weird. He lives in a spirit world and works at a bath house for the spirits. You can see some pretty messed up shit there.

Mimiru: A .hack//SIGN character. She sounds really funny when she says "Bai-bai."

FuggiBou: Not sure how many of you are on the BBS. My name for the Fugen/Taikoubou couple.

Spanish:

Chica: Girl. Often used as an informal nickname.

Chicos: Boys.

Japanese:

Chiisa: Little one. Thanks to Rowan for figuring it out! ^_____^

Oyaji: Very informal way to address one’s father. Kinda like "Old Man"

Sou da, ane, himitsu desu hazu.: That’s right, sis, it should be a secret.

Ani: older brother

Daijoubu: in this case, "It’ll be okay".

Konban wa: good evening

Sasuga desu ne!: Wonderful, isn’t he?

Hen na shounen yo: weird guy.

Sou da na: in this case, "Yes, isn’t she?"

Kirei: Pretty

Anone: "Now, waitaminnit here…" not literally, but as an expression of annoyance.

Costumes:

Flapper dress: Before I get yet *ANOTHER* person asking "WTF is a flapper???" a flapper is a word used to describe women in the 1920’s when they were getting more freedom. They were quite popular for short flappy dresses and jazz-style beads and the like. That was my last Halloween costume.

Isis: She’s a Yu-Gi-Oh character, who gets visions of the future and often makes dramatic predictions. She has SUCH a cool outfit, though.

Kyo: A character from Fruit’s Basket. He turns into a cat when hugged by a girl. He has a really short temper. Damien thinks he’s the most awesome character ever.

Domino High: The fanon name for the high school in Yu-Gi-Oh. The school uniform there is pretty much typical.

Change of Heart: A Duel Monsters card from Yu-Gi-Oh; it’s one side angel and the other side demon, and wears a long nightgown-ish robe. It can take control of an opponent’s monster for one turn. It easily became one of our favorite magic cards.

Pharaoh Yami: Yami, a very hot Yu-Gi-Oh character, was a pharaoh in a previous life, and this is the costume he wore.

(note that we’re not that much into Yu-Gi-Oh anymore…we just think the costumes are way cool.)

Signal: A robot. He’s made of a metal that acts like human skin. He was programmed to be a little boy’s older brother. However, during the programming, the little boy sneezed, and that confused the program. Whenever the little boy sneezes, Signal turns into a Chibi. When he sneezes again, Signal changes back. He gets very posy and dramatic transforming from Chibi to normal.

Typo of the Day: bishie --> bisgue