The Pizza Show Experiment!
spoilers: none
characters: Full anime cast, new characters, Yu-Gi-Oh cast appearance
chapters: 7/7
retrieved from: Bunnyhat
Chapter Three
The Pizza Show Experiment!
Experiment #2
Tuesday Morning
(Damien does his wake-up call with the baking sheet and frying pan. The SH cast starts to make their way to the dining room for breakfast. Wait……………where are Sage and Rowan???)
Tenka: The narrator’s right. Where are they?
Yami Sage: *stuffing her face with bacon* They’ll be here.
Taikoubou: *staring at Yami Sage, disgusted* You’ll get sick eating that much bacon!
Yami Sage: *irritated* No I won’t!
Damien: Yes you will. Trust me, I know. (A/N: It’s true. Damien and I were eating a lot of bacon one night and we both got stomach aches >_< at least nothing came up >_______<)
Yami Sage: *stands up, really irritated now* WHO ASKED YOU??????
Damien: O_O!
Yami Sage: I WILL EAT AS MUCH BACON AS I WANT! AND I WON’T GET SICK!
Damien: Ok, but don’t come crying to me when you throw up tonight.
Yami Sage: Humph! *sits down and continues to consume much bacon*
Taikoubou: *sweatdrops* Sometimes it’s good to be a vegetarian.
Sage: *from behind* Somebody doing an Only the Lonely reference? (A/N: From the movie Only the Lonely. “Sometimes it’s good to be a cop.” I’ll shut up now ^_^’)
Taikoubou: AAH! *jumps a foot in the air* *lands* Don’t do that!
Rowan: Why not?
Yami Sage: *still eating bacon, oblivious to the fact that Taikoubou nearly had a heart attack*
Sage: *sits down with syrupy pancakes, a little bit of bacon, and over medium eggs* *Looks at Yami Sage, disgusted* You’re going to get sick eating all that bacon.
Yami Sage: Urusei!!!
Sage: Whatever. *eats food and watches Raishinshi interestedly*
Raishinshi: *looks back* What?
Sage: Nothing ^_^
Raishinshi: *glares*
Rowan: Oh yeah, Raishinshi, we’ll be using you today.
Raishinshi: *drops piece of toast he was about to eat* o_o
Sage: *pulls out handy-dandy experiment schedule* Tuesday: Can Raishinshi do anything right?
Nataku: *snicker*
Raishinshi: *falls out of chair* NANDAYO?!!
Taikoubou: *turns laughter into a hacking cough*
Yami Sage: *glances at Raishinshi* He falls out of his chair a lot, doesn’t he?
Sage: Well, that’s one down. *scribbles something in a notebook*
Raishinshi: What the hell?!
Sage: *bonks Raishinshi with PPG Mallet* The rating!!!
Rowan: And besides, you should specify.
Taikoubou: Huh?
Rowan: One never knows what sort of hell one is speaking of.
Sage: *bumps rating up to PG*
Raishinshi: I repeat: Huh?
Rowan: *glances at Sage* Never mind.
Sage: *finishes pancakes-tachi and stands up* Ready, Rowan?
Rowan: Whee! Alliteration! ^_^
Sage: So you’re ready?
Rowan: Yup!
Sage: Everyone else ready?
Raishinshi: NO!!!
Sage and Rowan: Come on, Raishinshi! Time to go to the nice white room!
Raishinshi: *being dragged away by the arms* NOOOO!!! LET GO OF ME!!!!
Rowan: Never! Muhahahaha!
(Raishinshi’s screams echo throughout the building and eventually fade out as he is brought into the room)
Shinkouhyou: *finishes an apple he was eating* *gets up* This should be interesting.
Taikoubou: *gets up* Of course, Shinkouhyou.
Sage: I heard that, Taikoubou! No dissing the cute clown guy!
Taikoubou: o_O *sweatdrop* She scares me….
Hong: I think she’s nice ^_^
Everyone else: *facefault*
Hong: ??? What? Did I say something wrong?
Taikoubou: You’ll understand when you’re older.
(meanwhile, back in the experiment room…)
Raishinshi: I WANT OUT!!!!! *starts zapping everything with Paopei*
Sage: *snaps fingers. Raishinshi’s Paopei disappears* What did we tell you about using Paopei?
Rowan: *in her own little world* Too bad, Raishinshi! You will never get out! Mwahaha!
Raishinshi: *curls into a ball on the floor, rocking back and forth* Don’t kill me…don’t kill me….don’t kill me…..
Yami Sage: *sweatdrop* I think we broke the Raishinshi.
Sage: Sheesh! All this for a few simple tests to see what he can and can’t do.
Rowan: *out of her little world* *kneels by Raishinshi* ‘Sokay, ‘sgonna be all right.
Raishinshi: Why do I not believe you?
Hostesses: *shrug*
Sage: Come on, Raishinshi-chan, just a few tests. Let’s do them now and get them over with, ‘k?
Raishinshi: -_-* Stop calling me –chan.
Sage: Why? *snuggles Raishinshi* I think it’s a compliment!
Rowan: Hey! My bishie! Go find your own!
Sage: *hugs Raishinshi tighter* I did!
Raishinshi: o_o umm…oxygen becoming an issue….x_x
Yami Sage: Aibou! You broke him!
Rowan: Bonk on you! Bonk bonk bonk! *whaps Sage with the Whacking-Stick*
Sage: *whaps Rowan with PPG Mallet* Come on, let’s just get it over with, ok, Rai-chan? I promise it’ll be 100% painless!
Raishinshi: I SAID STOP CALLING ME –CHAN!!
Sage: Fine…Raishinshi-kun!
Rowan: Better take what you can get, Rai-rai.
Raishinshi: Why me…?!
Sage: *squeezes Raishinshi* ‘cause you sho snugly!!! ^_^
Yami Sage: Can we start the experiment now?
Sage: When Raishinshi-kun is ready to behave himself. Are you, Rai-rai-boy? *nuzzles Raishinshi’s hair*
Raishinshi: All right! All right! Just getoffa me!
Sage: Spiffy! ^_^ Now, let’s start with the basics. *holds up a billboard that says “Watch The Pizza Show ten times a week at five forty-five on Hyper Fangirls 92474678”* I want you to read this to me.
Raishinshi: Oh, that’s easy! Er…um…*squints* What language is this in? Japanese?
Rowan: *giggle* It’s in English, silly!
Raishinshi: You sure about that? Okay…It says “What The Papa’s Sow tin teams a walk at four fifty-fox on Hoppy Fen-grills 83474978.” You sure that’s in English?
Hostesses: *in hysterics*
People watching: *facefault*
Tenka: This guy’s hopeless. Even I can read that!
Raishinshi: Well, who asked YOU! *goes to zap him and remembers he doesn’t have the Paopei*
Sage: Sorry, Raishinshi, that was wrong. *snicker uncontrollably*
Raishinshi: *looks angry*
Sage: Moving on! *gives Raishinshi a scroll of paper and a calligraphy pen* Now, I want you to write your name. “Ki Raishinshi.”
Raishinshi: You people honestly think I can’t write my own name?
Hostesses: *nod nod*
Raishinshi: *facefault* *scribbles something on the paper*
Yami Sage: *reads it* R—ra---
Rowan: *looks over her shoulder* I can read that. I think it says “Ko Ree8heme.”
Sage: And the handwriting is a mess too! *clicks tongue* *writes something in the notebook*
Raishinshi: >_< Why do you persist in mocking me???
Rowan: Because it’s fun?
Nataku: It’s true. I should know.
Raishinshi: SHADDUP!!!
Nataku: You want to fight?
Raishinshi: You better believe it! Let’s go!
Nataku: We can’t. There’s glass in the way.
Yami Sage: *giggle* Watch that Nataku. He’s a sharp one.
Sage: Boys, remember rule number three!
Raishinshi: Which one was that? *counts on his fingers*
Sage: No killing each other! And it was especially directed at you two.
Rowan: Especially since you two would be so cyute together!!! *o*
Nataku: ???
Raishinshi: O_O *blush*
Sage: Rowan, lookie! We hit a nerve! He’s blushing!
Sage and Rowan: AWWWWWWWWWWW! ^_______________^
Raishinshi: *is red as a ripe cherry* S-stop! Can we get on with the experiment?
Yami Sage: I never thought I’d hear a character asking to be experimented on.
Sage: No! *snaps a picture of blushing Raishinshi* Ok, now we can. ^_^
Raishinshi: *crimson* You are going to be dead when I get my Paopei back!
Sage: Oh? *flirtatious glint in eyes* What’re you gonna do?
Yami Sage: And what makes you think we’re going to give you your Paopei back anytime soon? *evil grin*
Raishinshi: *frightened by Sage, who is starting to put a hand on his thigh* *squeaks* P-p-professional discipline, guys!
Rowan: *blinks* Professional? Discipline? You sure you’re speaking English?
Sage: *licks Raishinshi’s ear*
Rowan:: -_- No fair, you get all the fun.
Raishinshi: O_O *yelping* FUN?!
Sage: *nibbles Raishinshi’s ear*
Raishinshi: *hoarse* Help me…..
Yami Sage: Okay, that’s it! *pulls Sage off Raishinshi* We’ve got an experiment to finish! You two can play around later.
Raishinshi: *phew!*
Sage: *pout*
Rowan: No, I want him later! You can have Youzen.
Sage: ;_; why won’t you share???
Rowan: Why won’t you??
Sage: I don’t?
Rowan: *rolls eyes* Whatever. Let’s just finish the experiment.
Sage: Fine. *snaps and a phone appears* *starts to dial a number*
Raishinshi: ??? Who are you calling?
Sage: Your roommate at Mt. Kunlun.
Rowan: *to readers* Did you ever doubt Mount Kunlun was a dorm?
Yami Sage: *looking at Raishinshi* Complete with frat boys. *snicker*
Raishinshi: >_>
Sage: Shh! It’s ringing!
Rowan: *sets it on speaker*
Phone: *ring* *ring* *click*
Voice over phone: Hello?
Sage: Yes, is this the immortal who roomed with Ki Raishinshi at Mt. Kunlun?
Voice over Phone(now known at VOP): Yes.
Sage: This is Sage Saria, hostess of The Pizza Show. We’re performing an experiment on Raishinshi to see if he can do anything right.
Raishinshi: *twitch*
VOP: *laugh* Good luck with that!
Raishinshi: HEY!!!
Rowan: *puts hand over Raishinshi’s mouth*
Sage: We’d like to ask you a question, if we could.
VOP: Sure!
Sage: When you shared a dorm with Raishinshi, was it really neat?
VOP: Well…no would be an understatement. He’s been gone nearly half a year now, so I’ve almost got it clean, though!
Sage: Interesting.
Raishinshi: *is making muffled angry noises while trying to wriggle free from Rowan*
Rowan: ^_^ *snuggles him closer*
Sage: Thank you, sir, you’ve been most helpful.
VOP: Sure thing! Good luck!
Sage: Bye now! *hangs up* Tsk tsk…. Raishinshi, Raishinshi, Raishinshi, what are we going to do with you?
Raishinshi: *hopefully* Let me free?
Rowan: No such luck! ^_^ *snuggle snuggle*
Sage: Sorry! There’s still a few more things to do. And then there’s the rest of the week. Hey Rowan, save some for me! *snuggles Raishinshi too* ^_^
Raishinshi: *reverting to “hero” mode* Don’t worry, ladies, there’s plenty to go around! *realizes what he just said* Oh, sh- *stops*
Nataku: *snicker*
Sage: *Sees Nataku* Oh, so that’s another way so make him smile!
Rowan: Just bash Raishinshi!
Raishinshi: O_O Well…bash is too strong a word, I’d say.
Sage: Yeah…more like “hug and squeeze and call George”
Rowan: George! ^_^
Heather: *appears* I thought I was George! *disappears*
Raishinshi: o_o mommy…..
Yami Sage: *bangs table* The experiment!
Rowan and Sage: *snap to attention* Yes, sir!
Sage: Ok, Raishinshi-kun, let’s see your math skills. 1+1=?
Raishinshi: *counts on fingers* Um…two?
Sage: ^^ Very good! Now, 2+2=?
Raishinshi: *counts on fingers* Three! No- five!
Rowan: Augh! ^_^
Sage: What is the square root of 9?
Raishinshi: I can’t do fractions.
Sage: First three digits of pi?
Raishinshi: I like pie.
Rowan: And monkeys have feet, you know!
Sage: 2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2x2x0=?
Raishinshi: x_X My brain! You killed it!
Rowan: My poor knee!
Sage: *sigh* Moving on…..*grabs a Chinese Fiddle and gives it to Raishinshi* Play me a tune.
Rowan: Or else! Mwaha.
Raishinshi: *too scared to be more scared* *hesitantly takes fiddle* *makes irritating scratchy noises with it*
Sage: *winces* Ok, you can stop now!
Raishinshi: *stops*
Yami Sage: Geez, you’re the son of Ki Shou and you can’t even play that?
Raishinshi: Oyaji didn’t get a chance to teach me…*sniffle* *sniffle sniffle*
Sage and Rowan: *hugs* Awwww…..I forgive you, Rai-chan!
Raishinshi: -_-*
Yami Sage: a-HEM!!!
Sage: Oh! Right! *snaps and a piano appears in the middle of the room* Follow along with the notes I play, Rai-chan. *starts to play a scale* Do re mi fa so la ti do!
Raishinshi: *completely off* Do ray mee faw sew law tee dough!
Rowan and Yami Sage: -_-
Sage: *winces* No no no…..try again. Do re mi fa so la ti do!
Raishinshi: *even more off* Dough raw me fa solo tee-dou!
Sage: All right, forget that. *snaps piano away and a little target appears instead* *gives Raishinshi a bow* We WERE going to let you demonstrate your aim with your Paopei, but since you’ve been a bad boy, you get this instead.
Rowan: So there nyah!
Raishinshi: *examines bow curiously* Nan desu ka?
Sage: *quietly to Rowan* They had bows in ancient China, right? He’d have seen them before.
Rowan: *quietly back* I think so…but this is Raishinshi we’re talking about here.
Sage: True. Anyway…*shows Raishinshi how to use the bow* now try to hit that target right….*points at the center* here.
Raishinshi: *lets off too soon and nearly gets Sage through the head, even though she’s two feet away from the target*
Nataku: *snicker* Baka.
Raishinshi: Owww…that hurt….
Sage: Don’t hold the string too close to your face, silly boy!
Rowan: -_- That wasn’t what did it, Saia-chan, the wire hit his arm. That happens to the best of archers.
Raishinshi: Yeah, see? Listen to her!
Rowan: It was still pretty pathetic, though.
Raishinshi: *facefault*
Sage: Ok, ok. *pries arrow off the wall and gives it back to Raishinshi* Try again.
Yami Sage: Y’know, aibou, I was once told you were smart…
Sage: Shut up!
Raishinshi: *arms are shaking from strain of pulling bow back* I can’t!
Rowan: *snaps the bow away before someone gets hurt – namely her or Sage*
Raishinshi: *phew!*
Sage: It’s hopeless…..*opens door* You can go now, Raishinshi…..
Raishinshi: WOOHOO! *runs out*
Nataku: That was pathetic.
Raishinshi: *twitch* I’m going to be mature and ignore you. *walks away*
***(later in the kitchen)***
Raishinshi: *thinking to himself, listening to the others outside* K’so! Those…those…I’M GONNA SHOW THEM!
***(in the main room)***
Sage: *slumps on the couch* Man! I never thought Raishinshi was THAT pathetic! I mean, he can’t read or write, can’t sing, can’t dance, can’t do math…….do I smell something cooking?
(Everyone scrambles to the kitchen to see what’s going on. Inside we can hear Raishinshi humming (badly) to himself, along with sounds of dishes tinkling gently and the hiss of the gas stove. As Rowan pokes her head into the kitchen, Raishinshi himself is revealed, in a flowery pink apron. Everyone else looks in)
Sage: *snort* Raishinshi, what in the world are you----did you just cook dinner?
Raishinshi: Better believe it! Rice balls and dumplings!
Tenka: *snicker* What’s with the apron?
Raishinshi: *blush* It was the only one I could find, okay?!
Nataku: *straight-faced as always* It suits you.
Raishinshi: *twitch* Why you-!! *puts the dumplings down, rips off the apron, and tries to stuff it on Nataku* Let’s see how well it suits YOU!
Sage: *goes over to the dumpling and hesitantly picks one up and takes a bite* UISHIIIII!!!!! ^_^ OMG Raishinshi, these are delicious!!!!
Rowan: My turn! *eats one* These are really delicious! Your turn to compliment him, Yami Sage!
Hiko: We’re taking turns?
Raishinshi: I don’t see why not! *beams*
(Almost everybody tries the dumplings and rice balls, each time, making comments like “Wow!” and “Where did you learn to cook this good?” Raishinshi is grinning from ear to ear as though his birthday came early)
Nataku: They’re not Hahaue’s cooking.
Raishinshi: *facefault* You didn’t even try them, you b- JERK!
Nataku: *bored* I don’t have to. It’s still not Hahaue’s cooking.
Rowan: Thassakay Raishinshi, I think they’re good! ^_^ And you know what the cook gets?
Raishinshi: *being thick* What?
Hostesses: CUDDLES! *jump on him*
Sage: And smoochies! *kisses Raishinshi on the cheek*
Raishinshi: *blushes, but is sort of enjoying himself*
Hiko: *chuckle* Almost makes you wish you could cook better, eh, Tenka?
Tenka: *growl* Shut up…
Sage: *is still holding the kiss on Raishinshi’s cheek as she takes out a camera and snaps a picture*
***(Afterward in the dorms)***
Tenka: *is about to fall asleep, when…*
Sage: *whiney* Kou Tenka-chan…..
Tenka: Mmm?
Sage: I can’t sleep.
Tenka: *rolls eyes* Whaddya want me to do about it?
Sage: C’mere.
Tenka: *rolls eyes again* *gets up and climbs into the top bunk with Sage*
Sage: *hands Tenka a guitar* Sing me to sleep?
Tenka: o_O?
Sage: Pwease? I love your singing.
Tenka: Fine. If it’ll make you leave me alone…. *picks up guitar and starts to sing*
Sayonara wa iwazu ni yuku
Shounen jidai no owari
Kono michi no mukou wa nani ga aru no darou
Daisuki na machi wo hanare
Tsukamitai akogare wo
Oikakeru kisetsu ga kimi ni mo kuru darou
Kaze no tabibito
Yuuyake no tawaa
Saraba nakama yo
Mabushii egao
Mata au hi made
Todokete yo Kaze no tayori
Minna genki de iru ka
Natsukashisa makura ni yume wo daite nemuru
Hito-mawari ookiku natte
Furusato ni kaeru toki
Azukete 'ta yakusoku kitto mamoreru hazu
Kaze no tabibito
Kita e minami e
Saraba ukigumo
Jiyuu na kokoro
Ashita wa doko e
Tenka: *sees that Sage is asleep* *puts guitar aside and tries to get up, but…*
Sage: *snuggles closer*
Tenka: -_-‘
Youzen: zzzzzzzzzz *still oblivious to the pillow over his face*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Post-experiment thoughts ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Raishinshi: ~That was humiliating…but they liked my dumplings! *grin* Hmm…maybe if I make them eggs in the morning they’ll forget all about it?~
Shinkouhyou: ~Interesting…..very interesting…..~
Tenka: ~-_-‘ will someone PLEASE get her off me???~
Hiko: ~Tenka and Raishinshi are so amusing. Predictable, too.~
Nataku: ~Hehehehehe…..I saw Raishinshi in a flowery pink apron…..can we say blackmail?~
Taikoubou: ~Elders do not giggle. That was very close.~
Yami Sage: ~>_< Ohhh…..maybe they were right about the bacon…..I think I’m gonna….~
Sage: ~^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^ I have a snuggle bunny ^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^~
Rowan: ~Saia-nee-chan is such a bishie hog. I want some cuddles for myself. No fair! Maybe tomorrow. Natarai fluff lives on forever! *snore*~
Youzen: ~I think they were rather mean to Raishinshi. And why am I having trouble breathing at night?~
Dakki: ~Tomorrow, my sweet Damien, tomorrow…~
Inside Jokes:
George: My friends Corey and Heather and I were coming up with names to call each other. I was Saria-chan, Corey was Yami Corey, and we couldn’t think of one for Heather, but at lunch we decided to call her George.
My poor knee: Rowan says that’s something that Hikaness, infamous in the LOTR fandom, says. We don’t ask.
Natarai fluff: Rowan and I very strongly support Nataku/Raishinshi. That’s what we call it. In case you couldn’t figure it out.
Japanese:
Nandayo?!: More or less translates to “WTF??!”
Hahaue: the term for “mother” that Nataku uses; incredibly formal and respectful.
K’so!: *glances at Sage* Shh…it’s the s-word! In Japanese! But don’t tell anyone.
Urusei: Shut up!
Uishii!: Delicious!
That song Tenka sang was “Kaze no Tabibido”, or “Travelers of the Wind”. We like that song. A lot.
The “professional discipline” thing was because Rowan and I are supposedly “doctors”, and doctors aren’t supposed to get involved with the patients. Or lab animals, as the case may be. O_O Ow…
Oh, one more thing, recalling that by the end of the series, Hong and Xiao are all grown up and, well, dead, I want to point something out; this is OUR world and WE wanted the younger Xiao and Hong! So there! And we only just now saw the fifth and sixth discs, so…even though Nataku and Raishinshi act more friendly on the sixth disc…we’re sticking with before then for now. It’ll probably change by the end of the week – sorta mirroring the series, y’know? ^_^ Bye now!
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