The Pizza Show Experiment 2!

spoilers: TPSE part 1
characters: Most Anime cast, Xelloss from Slayers Next, Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer
chapters: 7/7
retrieved from: Bunnyhat

Chapter Four

The Pizza Show Experiment! Part 2

Experiment #3

Wednesday morning:

(People are doing things. You know, normal breakfast-time things. Sitting and eating and stuff like that. Oh, why do I even bother....)

Sage: 'Cause it's your job now shut up!

Hong: Sage...who are you talking to?

Sage: The narrator, of course! We hear him every day!

Hong: *excited* Ooh! Can I meet the narrator?

(Unfortunately, I am only a disembodied voice. I cannot be "met")

Hong: *disappointed* Aww...

Xiao: *looks at them weird* Who *are* you two talking to?

Hong: The narrator! Don't you know him? We hear him every day!

Xiao: ....??? *goes back to his breakfast*

(Whaaaaah! Nobody believes in me!)

Hong: I believe in you, Mr. Narrator!

Xiao: *rolls his eyes* Shut up, Hong.

(Why don't you shut up before I kick you out of the story?)

Sage: Why don’t I find myself another Narrator?

(Eep! o_O point taken! Shutting up.)

Hong: *giggle*

Yami Sage: *shuffles in, green* Oww...my stomach...

Raishinshi: *comes out of the kitchen with a platter of bacon* *looks at her* Okay, that is IT. No more bacon for you.

Yami Sage: But...but...no! You can't! Evil person!

Raishinshi: Look who's talking!

Yami Sage: I'm not evil! I'm dark! There's a difference!

Sage: What could that be?

Yami Sage: Uhh....

*crickets chirp, even though it’s morning*

Yami Sage: But I want bacon!

Raishinshi: NO! In fact, I'm going to throw this platter out right now! *goes back into the kitchen*

Yami Sage: *runs after him* NOOO! My precious! The preciouss is lost! *sound of a garbage lid slamming* NO! How could you???

Raishinshi: Like THIS! *sound of the garbage lid slamming again and a muffled shriek* Now, I've got work to do, now out of the kitchen! Shoo!

Yami Sage: *comes out of the kitchen sullenly, all greasy, bits of bacon and other trash in her hair and clothes* *sits down* *sniffling* He didn't have to shove me in the garbage!

Sage: Well, you didn't have to throw such a fit over bacon.

Yami Sage: *whining* But it's my one true looooo~oove....We WANTS it!

Sage: Your one true love? HA! Whatever happened to Yami Yugi?

Yami Sage: Yami Yugi's not dipped in grease!

Rowan: *eyes glaze over at the thought of Yami Yugi dipped in grease*

Fugen: o_O Did anyone else go to a scary visual place?

Tai-Itsu: Oh yeah...*smiling slightly*

Fugen: *looks at Tai-Itsu* You scare me.

Tai-Itsu: Thanks, I think.

*POP* *mooooo....*

Voice from the hallway: What's all this about greasy guys?

Sage: *suddenly perks up* That voice....*turns around to see Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer standing in the doorway. His hair is dyed blonde this time around.* *eyes widen* *shakes for a few seconds* SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *flying tackle glomp!(tm)* Ozzy Ozzy Ozzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!! *looks at Yami Sage* Can we keep him, Yami? Pweeeeeeeeeze? *puppy dog eyes*

Yami Sage: *rolls eyes*

Oz: *looks at Sage* Hi.

Sage: HIII!!!!! *starts bouncing up and down* OmigodOzIcan'tbelieveyou'rehereI'myourbiggestfanIloveyouandwhy'dyouleaveWillowshemisses youandImissyouandmymommissesyouomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!!!!!

Rowan: -_- Breathe, Sage

Sage: NoIdunwannabreatheIliketalkingallfastlikethisandOZishereomigodI'msohappy! Yaaaaaaa~aaay!

Oz: Are you ok?

Sage: I'm on toppa da WORLD! *glomps Oz* I'm just mad at you for leaving Willow-chan. She almost made Buffy and Spike get MARRIED because of you! And she blinded Giles! And Xander was a big hottie among demon girls!

Oz: She did all that for me?

Sage: *nodding* Uh-huh! Please go back, Oz! Pleeeeeaaaaase?!?!

Oz: Maybe if Seth Green decides to come back.

Sage: *giggle* Oh, I'm so happy! *starts skipping around*

Fugen: Anou......

Sage: Oh yeah! Oz, this is Fugen, Taikoubou, Tai-Itsu, Hiko, Tenka, Hong, Xiao, Raishinshi, Youzen, Shinkouhyou, Hatsu, Hakuyuko, Kibi, Kijin, Dakki, Rowan, Yami Sage, Jordi, Damien, and that guy over in the corner is Nataku. Say hi, Nataku! *waves*

Nataku: *looks at her*

Sage: *sweatdrops* NEway, everyone, this is Daniel Ozborne. But he prefers Oz. He plays in a band! ^_^

Tenka: *interested* Really? What band?

Oz: Dingoes Ate My Baby.

Tenka: o_O;;; Okay then...

Oz: Name wasn't my idea. We suck anyway...

Sage: I think you guys are great! ^_^ I can always pin-point what part you're playing. ^_^ Didn't you write a song for Willow at one point?

Oz: Yeah, actually, I did! *looks around* Well I'm obviously on the wrong set, so I should be going.

Sage: *tearing up* But-but-but-oh fine...*sniffle* Bai-bai Oz! And....and.....can I call you Daniel?

Oz: I suppose you could if you tried. *walks away*

Sage: ;_; Ozzyyyyyyyyyy..............

Rowan: Shouldn't we start the experiment now? I mean, we've already written, like, three pages...

Sage: *whap* Shhh! Stop abusing the Fourth Wall!

Rowan: *ducks head* Sowwy!

Sage: But yeah, you're right. Man, I'll never be able to concentrate now......Ozzzzzzzzzzzzzizzzzzzzzzzz...........

Yami Sage: *pulls stuff out of her hair* Baaaaaacoooooonnnnnn...... ;_;

Sage: OKAAAY, EVERYONE! LET'S GO! Gather around! Hayaku! Hayaku!

Everyone: *gather quickly*

Sage: *whips out handa-danda experiment schedule* Wednesday: A Conversation Between Shinkouhyou and Xelloss!

Rowan: We were GOING to have you watching Rocky Horror, but it was too hard to write, so we decided to do this instead.

Sage: FOURTH WALL!!!!

Raishinshi: *waves arms* I’D RATHER WATCH ROCKY HORROR!

Fugen: *sweatdrop* I’ve already seen it, thank you.

Hong: Why is the horror rocky?

Fugen: ^_^; Well, ah, you see, there’s a horrorful thing that’s made out of rocks, so it’s a rocky horror.

Hong: Ooohh….

Yami Sage: Isn’t Rocky Horror the name of one of the characters?

Sage: Shh!

Shinkouhyou: Who is this Xelloss, may I inquire?

Rowan: He’s a dude.

Damien: He’s got the same voice actor as you.

Shinkouhyou: …voice actor?

Sage: FOURTH WALL, GODDAMIT!!!

Yami Sage: Oi, what about the rating?

Sage: Well, we had to bump it up to PG-13 just to mention Rocky Horror…

Rowan: So it’s pretty much free rein! ^__^

Raishinshi: Hey, cool! Fuck fuck fuck fuck shit damn mother-fucker sonuvabitch fuck fuck fuck…….

Sage: *whap* But I still get to whap you!

Raishinshi: >_< Teme…….

Sage: *whips out picture* I’m sorry, what was that?

Raishinshi: >_< *girly* Oh, Sage, you’re just the best person in the world! *normal-ticked* That better?

Sage: Much ^____^

Rowan: *stands up* It’s time! Ikimashou desu ne?

*The hosts and Shinkouhyou go into THE WHITE ROOM (dundundunnn!) and everyone else gathers outside the window.*

Rowan: Now we must do the spell of Xelloss Summoning! ^__^

Sage: *grabs a random staff and starts waving it around*

*A message appears saying "Sage’s spell fizzles"*

Sage: Goddammit!

Hosts: *gather in a circle* Yuu mo guay guay fi di zow! Yuu mo guay guay fi di zow! Yuu mo guay guay fi di zow!

Nothing: *happens*

Hosts: ……..

Damien: YO! Xelloss! Get your ass in here!

Xelloss: *appears* n_n You called?

Sage: SQUEEE! *glomps Xelloss*

Rowan: *starts to go after her, but pulls out Valgaav plushie instead* ^__^ *cuddle*

Sage: *drags Xelloss by the arm over to Shinkouhyou* Xelloss, Shinkouhyou. Shinkouhyou, Xelloss. Monster, Demon. Demon, monster. Now, why don’t you two get acquainted? *goes out the room*

Other Host/esses: *also leave*

All Host/esses: *peek into the room, ready to take notes*

Xelloss: …………..

Shinkouhyou: ……………

Xelloss: *offers a random tea cup* Tea?

Shinkouhyou: Yes, thank you. *takes tea* Pleased to meet you. Yoroshiku.

Xelloss: *girly* Yoroshiku ne! n_-

Shinkouhyou: *raises eyebrow and sips tea*

Sage: *giggles* Omoshiroi desu ne?

Rowan: Whoa…it’s so freaky how they sound exactly alike.

Hong: *blinks* Where’d he get those teacups?

Jordi: *solemnly* He pulled them out of Shinkouhyou’s hair.

Raishinshi: *snigger*

Shinkouhyou: ………………..So how ‘bout dem Redskins?

Xelloss: n_n?? Red…skins?

Sage: Look! Kosal channeling!

Shinkouhyou: Yes, Dallas lost yesterday.

Sage: ….. *whaps Rowan* Enough out-of-character-ness for Shinkouhyou!

Rowan: *stops typing OOC-ness* Warui ne! Xelloss wasn’t late anyway.

Fourth Wall: >_< Owie…

Shinkouhyou: Uh…..what were we talking about?

Xelloss: *solemn* I was talking about the ultimate success of the Monster race, and you were talking about pink elephants.

Shinkouhyou: Oh. Ok, then! n_n Now, as you know, pink elephants are very hard to catch.

*muffled snickers outside*

Sage: Looks like they’re getting along well.

Rowan: *hmmm* Is anyone else getting ideas of a crossover couple?

Everyone: *turns and stares at her*

Sage: BAD brain! BAD brain! *whacks head on glass* Ow…..

Shinkouhyou: *looks at them* I wonder what they’re talking about out there….

Xelloss: n_n Is she ok? The girl who hit her head?

Shinkouhyou: n_n I do not know. *sips tea* Knowing her, she’s probably fine.

Sage: *rubbing her head with a neko-like pained face*

Xelloss: n_n You know her?

Shinkouhyou: Actually, I’m living with her temporarily. She’s an interesting young lady.

Xelloss: Indeed. n_n *sips tea*

Shinkouhyou: *sets down tea* Out of curiosity, do you know what a voice actor is?

Xelloss: n_n Well, yes I do.

Shinkouhyou: And…..?

Xelloss: Ma…..n_~ Sore wa himitsu desu!

Shinkouhyou: Interesting. *sips tea*

Damien: *starts falling asleep, sets up tape recorder*

Half the cast: *is way ahead of him on the falling-asleep business*

Sage: *giggles and snuggles sleepy Fugen*

Jordi: *steals Rowan’s Valgaav plushie and starts putting makeup on it*

Rowan: HEY! *her and Jordi disappear into anime-dust-cloud*

Yami Sage: *sigh* Yareyare….

Shinkouhyou: So you’re actually a secret agent in this place called "The Matrix"?

Xelloss: Well, that’s close enough. n_n

Shinkouhyou: Me, I could never do something like that. I prefer to simply watch without affecting anybody. Unless, of course, my interference will make things more interesting.

Xelloss: n_n Sou desu ne. *sips tea* I believe we have something in common, then. I may be a secret agent, but I rarely act until it’s truly needed.

Shinkouhyou: Yes, very true. *sips tea*

Everyone else except Sage: *falls asleep*

*several hours later*

Everyone who was asleep: *wakes up*

Shinkouhyou and Xelloss: *playing Jan-Ken-Pon*

Xelloss: Haha! I wii~in! n_^

Shinkouhyou: U_U You’re good at this.

Xelloss: I’ve had much practice playing against Hellmaster Philbrizzo.

Rowan: *looks at watch* Geez, it’s been three hours!

Sage: Already???

*collective facefault*

Sage: *sigh* Guess it’s time to wrap this up….*knocks and enters white room* Sorry, boys, but it’s time to send Xelloss home.

Shinkouhyou: *gets up and bows* It was a pleasure conversing with you, Xelloss. Perhaps we can meet again some other time.

Xelloss: *bows* Indeed. *eyes gleam*

Rowan: *chortling maniacally*

Yami Sage: *whaps Rowan* Hentai baka.

Rowan: Hentai? Me?? *mock-insulted*

Sage: Thank you for coming, Xelloss! Bai-bai!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Post-Experiment Thoughts~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rowan: *waves banner saying "Support Shinkouhyou/Xelloss!"*

Sage: That was interesting. *rimshot*

Shinkouhyou: Xelloss has good tea. I must find out where he got it.

Oz: How did she know my name was Daniel……?

Inside Jokes:

Xelloss: A character in Slayers. He’s very Shinkouhyou-like. He doesn’t do much in the story at first except randomly drag the cast into irrelevant journeys.

Fizzle: In Everquest, when you fail to cast a spell, it says that your spell "fizzles."

Yuu mo guay guay fi di zow: A chant used in Jackie Chan Adventures. It’s very fun to say.

Valgaav: Another Slayers character. He’s cute. (Rowan says: NOT CUTE! Very hot! ^____^ *cuddle*)

Kosal: My classmate in Biology. He’s silly. When a conversation goes way off topic or there’s an awkward silence, he bursts out "So how ‘bout dem Redskins?" And one time, a friend of his came to class and he said "You’re late! And Dallas lost yesterday!"

Philbrizzo: The big villain of the second season of Slayers. Xelloss is one of his minions. Sort of.

Japanese:

Hayaku: Hurry!

Teme: Sort of like "Why you….."

Ikimashou desu ne: Let’s go!

Yoroshiku: Something like "Nice to meet you" or "Let’s be friends".

Omoshiroi desu ne: Isn’t it interesting?

Warui ne: Sorry!

Sore wa himitsu desu: That is a secret!

Yareyare: Some sort of agitated sound.

Jan-Ken-Pon: The Japanese name for Rock-Paper-Scissors. No duh!

Hentai baka: Stupid pervert.